This week is National infertility week and Matt and I are 1 in 8. I look back at our journey over the years and the raw posts I did on here and one good thing that came out of all of this is the awareness I raised. I will also remember the friends who reached out and said I did that too but I can’t talk about it thanks for your honesty, the people who reached out and said I never knew and all of that makes me proud. I Hope to continue to always raise awareness and share my story with others….. The majority of our journey is linked HERE https://www.okiealamode.com/search/label/infertility
There is such a stigma around infertility, feeling less than, the millions of emotions that accompany this time in your life and I believe we need to talk about it more. Holding in secrets hurt, I want to always be a safe go-to for anyone who wants to share their story or needs someone to lean on.
For those of you wondering, YES I do still have all my “Participation Trophies” They are under my sink and when I come across them I don’t feel loss I feel proud. Look what I did, look at what I was willing to do. I made it through that. WE made it through. Infertility is very hard on a marriage. I have said this before and I stand by it, we were at our closest during all of this… yes a lot because Matt had to come home to give me shots, we had to make decisions together and mostly because we were working towards this common goal. Even years after going thru all of this we are still trying to find a new balance to US, still trying to find a new common goal and navigating the ways each of us processes this different.
I have talked a lot over the years about what to say and what not to say and we still hear it all. I do not mind at all when people have questions or even ask “What have you decided to do now”? That is all normal. But some people say …..
Why haven’t you adopted yet?
Don’t you still want a family?
Do you wish you had done a IVF #3?
And it goes on and on. I have said this since day one…. Matt and I are NOT opposed to adoption and never have been and we still can. And we have extensively looked into becoming foster parents BUT only we will know when that time is right. We will make that decision together when we feel like now is the time OR we might remain just the two of us and people need to realize that is OK ALSO!
I will say I am as nice as could be when people say “Maybe now that you are relaxed it will happen”… I smile and say you never know. BUT like this picture below “Just relax” is never well received by anyone going thru infertility…. trust me. I know we all know someone who did the infertility and once they “stopped trying” it happened and that is GREAT but hearing that is not really the positive vibe story you mean it to me.
What can you do? Educate yourself, be a supportive friend for someone going through this and you can find more ways to help HERE