50 Shades Worse

Last night I decided what the hell and I went to the 7pm opening of Fifty Shades Darker, I was excited! Date night for ONE! I liked the first movie, I thought it was fun and it didn’t take itself too seriously which made it really enjoyable. And for once it looks like I agree with all the reviews of this movie…….
Fast forward to this one and Mr. EL James wrote this script with a crayon. The dialogue was horrific and very childlike and stiff. The audience I watched it with laughed A LOT and it isn’t a comedy. And then the crew that edited this movie ….. I am mean, I can’t even. It was BEYOND choppy, no actual plot for instance……. (spoiler) Christians chopper crashes, the whole family is watching the news cover it, the news then says he has been found “Breaking News” and then a magical Mr. Grey Teleported and walked into the room with his family. People laughed so hard.
I kept looking at my watch.
And the sex scenes are just very scripted, now…. heck ya Christian is SUPER fine but thats all. I mean why turn on the shower and get in with all your clothes on? ugh
I am super easy to please, I was not expecting an Oscar-worthy movie but this was a MESS. It was like a really bad lifetime movie with boobs. Do yourself a favor and wait until you can rent this I wish I had. And the magical marriage proposal? It happened like 10 times which took away anything special about it. He says they will pick out the ring together and the next scene he has one in his pocket, STUPID. OH one more thing the scenes with his “Mrs. Robinson” are so bad and maybe it is because Kim Basinger’s face literally does NOT move but her stuff got the biggest laughs.
OK, OK… I will stop.
What a disappointment

Leave a Reply