For the past 3 years and even more so this past year our life has been ruled by Infertility.
Each day there was something I needed to do
Every week was ruled by Doctors appointments
Each day was filled with shots or ultrasounds or what to eat, not to eat
I had a doctor tell me exactly what day my period was to start
I knew what day could bring happiness or sadness
I knew today was for paying infertility bills
Somedays were days to stay in bed due to sickness or sadness
SO….. that leaves me to this year and I literally do not know how to feel. It’s weird I mean I live my life, have a new routine but deep inside my brain in a place known only to me I am so lost. Its a weird feeling and hard to really put a “thumb” on but blogging it out is always helpful to me and others I have found. It’s weird I was talking with a friend today who is going thru a IVF round right now and the ripple effect this has on us is hard for anyone to understand. What you put your body thru it changes you, the money, the sadness, the routine of it, other peoples perceptions and the ripple effect thru it all. And then one day it is over and the result isn’t ideal we have no baby to focus on but instead trying to form a new routine. Is this making sense?
Anyways as always my points for sharing is that it is helpful for me to get it out of my head. And it is weird how sometimes myself and other bloggers can be more open behind a computer than I would be with the people closest to me. I also do this to to help other people that maybe are going thru this and do not know anyone that has. And lastly as always to raise awareness for everyone that thinks… oh you just gave yourself a shot or two and it works or doesn’t. (eye roll)
Well bloggy friends, thanks for listening!!!