Can it really already be time? I know I told you all it was August and it is but SO much goes into IVF that you literally start over 1 month early getting your body ready, lining things up and that start date was yesterday. Yesterday I went in for my baseline ultrasound which showed that I have healed well from the last IVF and that I have no cysts which is always great news. And I guess it has been a long 2 months without a date with my friend the ultrasound wand! lol! Then we did blood work which will check all my levels and give them a base line reading of that as well! Lastly I started Birth Control yesterday which is confusing for some… here is the “jest”:
They use it to suppress your body from producing eggs and all that stuff for 1 month before IVF as well as prolonging this cycle. I will take 30 days of active pills so I won’t start my period again for 5 weeks which all works into the master IVF plan!
During this next month we will do our IVF consent forms again, order all my meds, cough up $$$ and have more blood work.
This is the ecstatic me yesterday……
SO last week when my show The Real Housewives of the OC started again I was excitedly surprised to see that Meghan Edmonds (Wife of baseball legend Jim Edmonds) is going thru IVF on the show! I was excited for people to see what it is like, more awareness and I’m am really seeing something on this show I can relate too. But I was kinda shocked at my reaction to her Endometrial “Scratch” procedure on screen, I cried. I cried because seeing it scares me… I have to have this done in 3 weeks and she describes it as the worst pain ever, like knives in her uterus and I felt the same. I cried just from seeing someone else display what I go thru. It’s horrible.
You know Matt is having a hard time “getting” my emotions this time around…. Some people would think that Round 2 would be easier, knowing what to expect but for me it’s the opposite. Knowing what all is to come, like how painful the procedure above is…. is wrecking me. Yes, we want to do this ….. we want a baby but who would look forward to all this AGAIN. My anxiety is THRU the roof and that scares me. I have to find a way to get this under control. But that is who I am… knowing how many times I have to give blood and by the end of the cycle both of my arms/veins collapsed from giving so much blood… yes, that scares me. Knowing how scary the retrieval was and how the propofol burns as you go under…. yes, that scares me. I have a little time to try and turn these thoughts around and focus on what will hopefully be a beautiful outcome that I will be pregnant! So I ask currently that your prayers be on turning my anxiety around so I can be strong and think positively.