I know a lot of you have been asking about my boy Oscar so I wanted to give you all an update. The picture above was taken last week and you can see the huge tumor on his eye. This morning I took a picture up close of what it really looks like but I erased it…. I don’t want you all to see. It is very hard to look at, the large bloody mass is sticking out from his eye and covering 1/4 of his eye. It’s about 1 inch of tissue being pushed out from his eye socket now, I clean the eye daily and he is so good for me when I do it which is not the norm, ha. It leaks a lot and he messes with it which is horrifying for all of us. Recently he started losing hair on his tail, who knows what the cancer is causing.
BUT…. as you can see from this picture he is loving all his special treatment, some days he is happy as a clam… playing, running and other days are filled with naps and only wanting me to hold him. He is more aggressive, he gets upset very easy and he is very grumpy but of course he is he is sick. He is still eating like a champ that is for sure…. so I just can’t justify that its time yet. I still feel like his good days out number the bad. We know the eye has to be bothering him, I think he can still see out of it but he doesn’t really show that he is in pain.
For me I have to have a sign, see something more before we make that decision because to me it would be like killing him. With it being his eye it’s almost harder because it’s not like he will become un-mobile, the rest of him is normal pup. So this decision is….. there are no words for what it is.
You know when I bring him to bed with me sometimes I can lay there for an hour massaging him and telling him how much I love him. I want to soak up every minute but it is so hard, just now while I type this I am a mess….. I love him so much it literally hurts me, my heart is breaking. I don’t know how much more time we have with him and I hate that the answer to that is up to Matt and I. I pray daily for a sign. You know, I couldn’t love anything more (except for his 3 siblings) I really love him more than my own life.