Dear Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,

I can barely stomach to watch you this season, your comments on Yolanda’s illness are sickening and flat out wrong. (I’m talking to you Lisa Rinna) Lyme Disease is in all accounts an “Invisible Illness” much like Chronic Migraines which I suffer from. Let’s talk about a few of the “issues” you Beverly Hills women have with Yolanda:

* You all say “She looks fine”…..
And Yolanda is exactly right when she says she looks great on the outside but on the inside she is suffering greatly. Its is the same with me, I may look perfectly fine on the outside and at the same time I could be battling a huge migraine inside. Life goes on and you have to learn when you can suffer and when you can not.

* Secondly, you say “One minute it’s a happy selfie and the other it’s a sick selfie, I don’t get it”
That is right, you DON’T GET IT! When battling a chronic illness you can have days of good and why not celebrate them? You get sick for spells and then can feel good for a period, so I am sorry if her “good Days” are confusing you. On my good days I try to catch up on things I have missed and do something enjoyable for myself too.

* You all don’t understand “all her extreme treatments”….
If I had the money Yolanda has I would try anything I could to get rid of my migraines too. When you are sick and at the end of your rope you will literally try anything, anything. And that is what Yolanda is in a position to do, it isn’t weird…. it’s brave.

You see when I first got diagnosed with Migraines in my early 20s I lost friends too, long long standing friends who didn’t understand why I had to cancel so much on plans. I looked fine from the outside but inside my head during a migraine I am dying. For some reason that really bothers people. What Yolanda is going thru is a version of what I have been thru…. People do not understand and if she had a broken leg you could see…. people wouldn’t question it. It’s so tough when you are battling an illness with no cure and your friends start dropping off and to be honest I still have a friend that did this that hurts. I missed her engagement party and she literally NEVER forgave me for having a migraine that night. I also couldn’t travel for her wedding due to migraines and she has not spoken to me since even though I went to her reception she had locally. A friend I had for over 15 years. People can be so cruel.

Yolanda, you keep doing what your doing…. fighting strong and enjoying your pain free days. You don’t need these women in your life. And I get it… she chooses to go thru this on reality TV but she is speaking for so many people battling Lyme and other “invisible” illnesses, she is trying to put a face to what so many people go thru on a daily basis. And I love her for it.


  1. Anonymous
    January 5, 2016 / 3:02 pm

    Well said Nicole! From a fellow "invisible" struggler of chronic disease, that surfaces and others don't understand. You do get to the point of trying not to explain because others don't get it, or as one ex said; "I use it as an excuse for my behavior". I have walked away from friendships before they have the chance to. Maybe that is why I do better with online friendships.Sending you hugs of understanding. I don't watch that show but, good for standing up for Yolanda.

  2. Becky
    January 15, 2016 / 8:23 pm

    Well said…thanks for speaking for those of with "invisible" ailments. Unfortunately, unless a person has had one, they will never truly understand. However, this is not something I would ever wish on another person.

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