So a little warning here I tend to get a little “emo” from time to time but there is nothing wrong with being a little vulnerable. Second, I am not at all “fishing” for positive reinforcement or anything like that I am simply using this post as an outlet.
Yesterday I was thinking about what a crappy friend I have been this year, a crappy Granddaughter, a crappy niece, crappy daughter-in-law and well….you get the jest. You see my life is still in a state of limbo, there are parts of our life that are currently still up in the air. And you can’t always talk about everything on the blog (shocking I know since I tend to over share) Our life has been in a state of change, state of wonder and in a unfinished state for well over a year now. And it is hard, it is hard to “get a life” when things are not all set in stone. I am having a hard time pulling it all together still when I feel like I have to tip toe around. And due to all of this I have talked about this before that I just pull back from everything and everyone. I HATE being “that friend” who always has something negative to say to friends, the friend who always needs to vent…..I hate it. I know my friends do not mind and want to be there for me but it is hard. (Just as my Mom) I still find myself pulling back and creating a black hole in my house that I live in. When will I crawl out? I am not good at calling my friends, I am awful at calling my grandparents and it is unacceptable but why can’t I pull it together?? I need to be more involved in everyone’s lives, I need to call more, I need to reach out more! I mean don’t get me wrong I am ok, I am happy but I get down on myself from time to time…..don’t we all? The difference maybe that I blast it on my blog….but luckily I have found that when I write a post this honest I always have a few people who will reach out saying they feel the same or have in the past. That makes me feel good that someone can see a little of themselves in me.
I love facebook, instagram and blogs because I feel like I can still follow along with my friends lives, watch their kiddos grow but I should do more. But it is like I am frozen and I can’t.
And yes, I am fully aware that people move all the time but each situation is different and is your own. I am thinking that my new years resolution is gonna sound a lot like “GET A LIFE”! Ya know?
Anyways, is it just me or has Glee really gone downhill this year?