Good Morning Blogger World……..TGIF! I want to share something with you all…
First, You all know that this blog is about TV, books, movies, recipes and well my life. I have always been honest sharing the good as well as the not so good moments of life. But even with as honest as I try to be you just can’t share everything over a blog. And you see I don’t like it when people only boast about the good. With that being said somedays just aren’t good, ya know? For a multitude of reasons life isn’t always peachy and I just can’t always share everything. And when I am in a situation like that I don’t want to be fake and lie to you all…..hence 2 days off. The saying goes that sometimes if you don’t have anything good to say don’t say anything at all AND that is what I did.
Second, speaking of honesty I thought a lot about this and decided I wanted to share this with you all because life isn’t perfect. Anxiety runs in my family and everyone has moments of life where it feels like an elephant is sitting on your chest. And for about 1 1/2 years the sleeping “anxiety giant” has been stirring inside of me. And well look at what all we have been thru this past year this is no shock that I would experience some sort of anxiety. My anxiety has been worse since the move and then the past 6 weeks (give or take) have been awful. I am very in control of my emotions and things that I do so being faced with something I can not control is awful. I have had several panic attacks which sound harmless until it happens to you. I feel like I am literally going to die, that if I close my eyes I will not wake up. My anxiety is thru the roof where somedays I just feel like my whole body is shaking and I lie awake for hours at night on the verge of tears. I have fought against seeing someone because it seemed ….pathetic? Like, oh I have anxiety….blah blah blah……BUT this week I realized it has too much control over my life and I need help. Yesterday I went to see a new doctor who I loved and we talked for over an hour. It is true I have Severe Anxiety Disorder with Panic. And since it is a real illness and I have been ignoring it that has more than likely lead to episodes of panic. We discussed how we are going to treat this, how this effects my migraines and how to move on from here. I don’t love the idea of starting to take something daily but I need this under control so I have been put onto a daily medicine. I have such a sensitive stomach I get nervous about starting something new and how it will effect me. So I worry about that …..But I just hope that over the next few weeks my body can start to regulate better with the help of the new medicine……and find me some relief. Some people think that things associated with “the mind” are over reactions, made up or what not but I am hear to say that is not true. And that is why I am sharing this with you all because things happen and sometimes things ARE beyond your control and there is nothing wrong with getting help.
whew! That was long huh??? I feel much better now! ha!