Blogging on a Saturday??? What? Ha….well, it’s called being a little restless and not knowing what to do with myself!! I am feeling better thank you all for the kind words…I have 2 more days of antibiotics and I will be glad when it is DONE it makes me super sick to my stomach ALL day!
Guess what??? THIS Friday my Mom, Dad and sister will be in Columbus!!! It’s weird, even thought it is literally 6 days away it is like my heart knows this and I miss them even more! I am like a chicken with my head cut off running in all directions…..cleaning, planning and fixing everything up! I know I know…..nothing has to be perfect or planned to a T but….I am excited, my Mom hasn’t been here since the move and this is my Dad and Marissa’s first time so I want it to be perfect!
I am homesick. People expect me to have moved and been 100% happy, getting on with my “life” and loving a new city. I have realized when people ask how I am or how much I love Columbus they don’t want to hear the truth. They want to hear “Great, everything is wonderful I LOVE it hear” and honestly it’s OK to not feel that way. Columbus is a great city BUT I am allowed to have feelings, to be sad and to miss my home. And don’t say I am negative!!!! I will cut you……… I get up everyday, make our house a home, cook and go thru all the motions of what life is and that is ok….it’s ok for me to not jump up and down every morning screaming how happy I am. It’s hard……….I feel like people don’t let you feel sad…I mean I moved 16 hours away from my everything. I only lived in a 10 mile radius my WHOLE life…I have never gone 2 1/2 months without seeing my family. EVER.period.the end.
It is also hard because Matt is working the same hours he did in Okc……..so I am alone 90% of everyday. He runs home to eat dinner for 15minutes then goes back to the office until I am in bed. I love being independent and thank God I am, watching TV at night with the dogs on the couch makes me happy but I guess knowing that my family and friends are not a jaunt away is hard. Kinda lonely. Now don’t get me wrong I am not moping all day, I haven’t cried once, I am not “miserable” by any means but different, I am different. I am trying to find my place. I am not single, not a newly wed and we don’t have children so it is hard to find my place. What is my purpose? ?! I know Matt is working towards our future too and I love that so no comments on me seeming unappreciative (people can read into anything from time to time) I did join this week Columbus Junior League because although I am dragging my feet I have to try and find a life, friends….a place I belong. Ya know? I am excited about what the JL has to offer me but in a way I feel like I am betraying my friends back home? Ya know? Yes Yes……everyone wants me to have new friends but it is a feeling that is hard to shake. The girls were nice and I look forward to getting to know them better but I am still sad.
Thank you to everyone who reads this and listens to be jab on and on…….it’s my life and this blog has helped so much. It is nice to just unload from time to time and be real.