A few people have asked how things are going since the move………I have been in Ohio for 6 weeks now. I am not sure if it feels longer or shorter?! First let me remind anyone who is new that for all of my 31 years I have only lived in a 10 mile radius in Oklahoma City. We lived by ALL our family who we saw a lot……. so this is hard on me. (Matt is different, I know it is hard for him but guys are different) It’s weird actually, it is almost like my mind has not processed this yet…..I have thrown myself into fixing up the house which has been a huge help. By doing that it has given me pride and ownership. Sometimes if Matt is working late and I am laying on the couch my mind will slip to a bad place…..it will think… “I can’t drive over to my parents right now” or “This is not a vacation it’s forever” and I then get serious anxiety so I quickly push the thoughts away.
Something I realized I have done but not on purpose is I have kinda isolated myself. I am not emailing, texting or calling my girlfriends like I normally would. It’s weird, I seem to have just pulled back from everything…..I don’t really feel sad and I don’t feel like I am sulking but maybe I am? For some odd reason I rarely feel like talking and other days I really am so busy that before I know it another day is gone. I have apologized to friends about this already, it’s 100% on me… And I don’t know how to break out of it yet. You know since the move I haven’t cried once……I almost feel like I have not processed my feelings yet. Maybe?
Now let me say that if you live in Ohio I am not meaning everyone just the people I have come in contact with…..BUT everyone is SO RUDE! Literally coming from Oklahoma it is shocking. No one says thank you when you hold a door open, no one smiles and says Hello and everyone has road rage. For instance I am walking in the mornings (yay me) and the other morning I passed literally 10 women some my age and I smiled and said “Good Morning” to everyone and only ONE person acknowledged my exsistance. It is sooo weird. Just something new to get use to I guess. At the grocery store people are really rude….like everyone has cart rage, I feel like a fish out of water at times.
I think that this whole first year….as in …..first Birthdays without family, first Holidays if we can’t travel home will be a learning experience and getting use to things. I am sure we will build our own routines and traditions but that doesn’t happen over night. And who knows maybe one day I will wake up cry all day and move on? Who knows.