Sorry doesn’t cut it…..

So, this is one of my babies Abner and the love I have for him is so much it makes my heart hurt. Abner has been with us as of this Holiday season 4 years. Long story short a friend rescued him from the pound where no one wanted him and we took him in. Abner was in poor health and in the years since with us he has had dental surgeries, we found out he has seizures and intestinal problems. But with our love and care it seems has been turning back time in our old man…..like Benjamin Button. Now the vet thinks he could be as young as 8 instead of the 11 they original thought when he found his way to us. I really believe that God brought Abner to us, I could not imagine my life without him.

Fast forward to yesterday………….

Abner had to have some teeth looked at and cleaned, we were worried he was going to loose another tooth but to everyone’s surprise the vet was able to save it. Yay (cha-ching$$)! I went up yesterday to pick up my baby and before we left I told them that I have slacked off on his heart-worm treatment and I then asked them to do that quick test (it is a procedure they must do before handing over the heart-worm meds to me) so I am waiting once again as my poor baby has some more blood drawn and then before I know it the vet came out of the back and as she walked over to me my heart dropped…………

Abner has heart-worms. He actually has heart-worms which can potentially kill him and it is all my fault. ME the BIGGEST animal lover I know and I ….I did something that is going to cause much pain to Abner. Sorry does not cut it, I am beyond devasted. How could I be so stupid? Why did I forget? Why did I let something like this that is so important lapse for someone I love so much? I am sick over this, truly sick. I can’t express how I feel.

So what happens now?

Well it is serious……she told me we have to take this very serious and treat this as soon as possible, I talked to the vet for awhile yesterday and we decided that……..in 2 weeks I will drop off my Abner at the vet for an entire week where he will under go the treatment. She said this is not pleasant and will be very hard on him. They actually have to give him daily shots into his hips which can cause inflammation and pain. After that one week I will be able to take him home for the rest of the recovery which will last 6 weeks. During which I can not let him/try my best to not let his heart rate get up as that will cause complications. AND if you have been to my house you know how hard that will be. I will will have to treat my home like a silent tomb. The vet said the success rate is very high, and she thinks that Abner has a wonderful 98% chance to survive. The money? It isn’t about the money, I would pay anything. In fact I am having a garage sale THIS WEEKEND to pay for this. 

I just can not believe that something I have done will cause and has caused so much pain to someone I love so much. I know a lot of you who don’t have animals will think “heart-worms, no biggie he is an animal”….well friends this is my child and I love him as much as you love your children. Agree or not that is how I feel. I have a rough month coming up and I know I can’t beat myself up over this forever but it is what it is and I caused this. So please start praying for my little Abby now! 

7 Comments

  1. Becky
    September 20, 2011 / 6:15 pm

    You know I'm prayin' for you both! But I hope you can forgive yourself. I've done things as a mom that I'm not proud of either, but you just have to forgive yourself and say you are sorry.

  2. Amy
    September 20, 2011 / 6:17 pm

    I'm so sorry Abner has to go through all of that. I know what you mean about loving your pet as your child. Abner knows you love him and knows you'd do anything for him. Praying things go well and the funds are raised to help sweet Abner.

  3. Amy
    September 20, 2011 / 6:19 pm

    I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. Don't be so hard on yourself. Abner knows he is loved. You're a great momma to your animals! Praying everything turns out perfectly!

  4. Brunette & Blessed
    September 21, 2011 / 12:47 pm

    I'll be praying for your pups. I feel so bad for you. This post has reminded me that i'm behind on my hearworm med ordering. I hope everything goes okay.

  5. Jodie
    September 21, 2011 / 2:45 pm

    I'm praying for Abner! Don't beat yourself up about it. He knows he is in a very lovely family. My prayers are with him and you!!! *hugs*

  6. Lindsey Leigh
    September 22, 2011 / 2:26 pm

    Oh My goodness Nicole! I am soooo sorry about Abner. I will be keeping him and you in my prayers and pray for his speedy recovery. I always forget to give my lexie her heartworm meds i am going home and doing it tonight. 🙁 thinking of you!

  7. Jesslyn Amber
    September 22, 2011 / 3:11 pm

    Oh my gosh Nicole, I am so sorry to hear this. My Lilah is my child, so I completely understand where you are coming from.Abner is so loyal and devoted to you, and he will love you the same after this. I know it's hard for you to imagine what he's going to go through, and nothing will change how you feel. Just pray about it. Ask God to help you find peace about this and he will comfort you.I'm from TN, so I can't come to the sale, but you should post whatever you have left on your blog for your followers to buy to help you out. I know I would love to help you out.Good luck with everything. I'll be keeping you and little Abner in my prayers!

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