Thursday, October 26, 2017

This is Us, Part 8

*We are 1 in 8*

You can not tell a story about us together without the biggest elephant in the room, per say. For 3 years of our 10 we struggled and lived our lives according to my period... fun.. NOT. Infertility is a funny thing you see, it changes you, your marriage, your family, it is always with you, you feel sad, you will feel proud of your strength, you will feel hopeless and then you will feel stronger as a couple or then possibly more apart then ever. I could go on and on about all the things we felt but first have a look back. MOST of my infertility blog posts you will find right HERE
 Yup, I still have all these needles or should I say my little sharp trophies in my bathroom. It is truly the only tangible thing I have left from everything we went to. The only thing I can hold, look at and the only things that can represent our pain in a real way. It might sound weird but I can't imagine ever getting rid of my needles.
 Something I have also shared with friends and most likely on here is how during this time Matt and I were as close as ever. We had a common goal, we had to do things together (and no not much of that involved actual sex) we had to make decisions together and Matt had to be home from work more often.  And now it is weird a year later we are not as strong.... we are struggling to find our common goal and although we are not fighting we are more separate. That is another thing I want this 10 year trip of ours to do..... HIT reset!!! Re-focus, actually talk and come home more together than we have all year. I am not putting pressure on it but we haven't been just us two on vacation or time away from work and TV in a long time.
 I know a lot of you wonder if we have made decisions about the future.... adoption? Honestly we have not but we have been just us two for so long I am thinking it might just be that way for us. And we love our animals more than anyone could imagine... they are not a replacement and never have been but a wonderful addition to our lives.  SO I am not sure and nothing we decide ever has to be set in stone, our lives are ever changing and who knows what the years to come will bring.


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