Friday, February 26, 2016

Update on Oscar

I know a lot of you have been asking about my boy Oscar so I wanted to give you all an update. The picture above was taken last week and you can see the huge tumor on his eye. This morning I took a picture up close of what it really looks like but I erased it.... I don't want you all to see. It is very hard to look at, the large bloody mass is sticking out from his eye and covering 1/4 of his eye. It's about 1 inch of tissue being pushed out from his eye socket now,  I clean the eye daily and he is so good for me when I do it which is not the norm, ha. It leaks a lot and he messes with it which is horrifying for all of us. Recently he started losing hair on his tail, who knows what the cancer is causing.

BUT.... as you can see from this picture he is loving all his special treatment, some days he is happy as a clam... playing, running and other days are filled with naps and only wanting me to hold him.  He is more aggressive, he gets upset very easy and he is very grumpy but of course he is he is sick. He is still eating like a champ that is for sure.... so I just can't justify that its time yet. I still feel like his good days out number the bad. We know the eye has to be bothering him, I think he can still see out of it but he doesn't really show that he is in pain.

For me I have to have a sign, see something more before we make that decision because to me it would be like killing him. With it being his eye it's almost harder because it's not like he will become un-mobile, the rest of him is normal pup. So this decision is..... there are no words for what it is.
You know when I bring him to bed with me sometimes I can lay there for an hour massaging him and telling him how much I love him. I want to soak up every minute but it is so hard, just now while I type this I am a mess..... I love him so much it literally hurts me, my heart is breaking. I don't know how much more time we have with him and I hate that the answer to that is up to Matt and I. I pray daily for a sign. You know, I couldn't love anything more (except for his 3 siblings) I really love him more than my own life.

FriYAY Meal Planner

Happy Friday everyone, yesterday I made out my meal plan and actually went grocery shopping. What happened to the days when I liked grocery shopping? It is SUCH a chore and I hate it... I mean putting food into the cart isn't the problem its more of the putting it away at home and paying for it that is the problem! ha!

Weekend Breakfast!
This weekend for breakfast will be French Omelets along side of the Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Toast which I love! Now as far as the omelet goes I have been perfecting my Chef omelet thanks to Buzzed I am getting pretty good at it! Here is the how to perfect yours......
Also click HERE for the details!

Friday night aka tonight is Date night out and we are going to a steakhouse, we only eat out one night a week!

This weekend in Denver is going to be beautiful highs in the 60s so it is the perfect weekend to use our Smoker......

Saturday Night
Whole Smoked Chicken 
For the 2 sides I actually had these ingredients left over from last week...
Pan roasted baby potatoes in ranch seasoning (400' for about 30 min, EVOO)
Butter lettuce salad with poached egg
Brown Sugar Bundt Cake
White Wine!

Sunday Night
I am going to use the leftover Chicken meat for this soup and this soup is SOO good! Last time I made it just for me and ate on it for 3-4 days, it is that good!
Lemon Dill Soup
French Bread
Left over cake!

Monday Night
Matt's night to come home for dinner, yay!
Skillet Chicken with Mustard Pan Sauce
Roasted Carrots
Arugula Salad with EVOO and Lemon only!

Tuesday Night
Just me for dinner....
Roast Salmon and Brussel Sprouts (clearly I reduced the recipe to serve one but made for 6)

Wednesday Night
Matt's home and I am making a recipe I made lats month but we loved!!!!
Slow Cooker Broccoli Beef
Served over rice
Baked apple egg rolls 

I hope these recipes will inspire you when you make your meal plan for next week!



Wednesday, February 24, 2016

The VVitch

When I say I don't watch scary movies what I mean is I don't watch anything in the whole "saw" genre. I am not into 100% gory torture, but what I do like is traditional scary involving ghosts or say.... witches! This movie was getting ALL this buzz, even Steven King saying he was scared to death by this movie.... I just felt like I needed to know what it was all about.
Before I get to the movie review I have a funny story.... Matt and I went to the movies at like 10am Sunday morning to see this movie and much to our dismay the theater we were in had sound problems. I was so bummed, I had worked myself up to seeing this movie. The staff told us we could just go to another movie.... so we walked around and the ONLY movie starting right then was Risen! HAHA! SO we went from Witches and demons to Jesus. It was hard to switch my mind around but Risen was good. Maybe a renter but we still enjoyed ourselves. Thanks, God for making us feel bad about our original choice!
SO Monday I decided to go see this by myself in a theater by myself at 10am... which did make it scarier! For the first 1/2 of the movie what is scary is the music, the creepy family, the setting and the waiting for "something" to happen. But then the last 1/2 of the movie stuff happens and it's scary. The makers of this movie are masters of suspense.... you know it's coming and that is terrifying. This movie rated R for terror and the only other thing is old, wrinkly naked witch bodies! haha, for real. I was glad I saw this movie and glad I saw it in the morning BUT Monday night.... I did actually have a nightmare about it. This is just a GOOD scary movie and if you like this sort of thing, see it. It's a thinking persons movie for sure!



A trailer I saw before this that has me all excited is the second Conjuring! This is also a scary movie I can get behind and I LOVE Ed and Lorraine Warren. I have read their books which are the scariest books ever written and I really believe in them and what they do/did. Take a look at the trailer, this is a famous paranormal case.....




Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Hells Bells

I LOVE concerts, I always have and you can ask Matt the minute I found out AC/DC was coming to Denver I freaked! If you remember back when we were in San Fran we toured AT&T park and saw them setting up for AC/DC and I was like "If only..." and my prayers were answered!
 This was my BIG Christmas gift as well as my Valentine's Gift, these tickets were SUPER pricey but OMG were they worth every penny!  Below is Back in Black and my Senior year in High School this was the song we danced to (Pom) at our HUGE Pep Rally at the beginning of the school year, just a super neat full circle moment!
 Matt likes AC/DC but wasn't as excited as I was, this was ME all the way.... but when we left he looked at me and said this was a Top 5 concert of all time. I agree and this might have been my TOP concert ever. It was funny... the crowd was 90% men and they all looked like they crawled out of their 1980s Rock-n-Roll HOLE!
 They were selling the AC/DC devil horns and uh.... ya.... I HAD to have some. Look at me, hard core rocker! I am not sure our fancy Sushi dinner before hand fit in with the "theme" but it was such a wonderful night. I thanked Matt over and over.
 Matt and I both got our souvenir AC/DC shirts on the way out. And our favorite song they did live was prolly... Thunderstruck, we lost our minds! BUT, if I could say one thing negative I would say it was the volume of the concert. We were close.... 18 rows up in front but my ears rung until the next morning. I wish I had ear plugs and I still would of heard it fine, it was the loudest concert ever.
SO we all know I love going to concerts and I doubt I can remember them all but I thought it would be fun to list out as many as I can for ya.........And you can see they span across the board for sure!

 Destiny's Child, N*Sync, Justin Timberlake (4 times), Britney Spears (4 times), Christina Aguilara, Asleep at the Wheel, Jessica Simpson, Ashley Simpson, Olivia Newton-John. The Killers, The Strokes, Incubus (5 times), Coldplay, Michael Buble (3 times), Chicago (3 times), Kansas, Earth Wind and Fire, Rick Springfield, Huey Lewis and the News, Kings of Leon (3 times), John Mayer (2 times),  No Doubt, Sugar Ray, Blues Travelers, Imagine Dragons (2 times), Garth Brooks, AC/DC,....
I know there are more but I can't think of them now.






Tuesday, February 16, 2016

TV Tuesday?

This past month there have been a ton of new shows debuting and not just our old ones being back but all together new shows! And we all know how much I love my TV so today I thought I would share with you all my top 4! And don't fret you can catch up on all of these OnDemand, we are only about 4 episodes into each!

Matt and I both love all these shows but Billions is TOP dog for Matt! This show is about Wall Street/Hedge Fund BILLIONAIRES! This show is smart and it has a way of making you not sure exactly who the bad guy is.?! I love Damien Lewis since Homeland and he perfectly fits the role of Charming Billionaire perfectly! You guys need to watch this! And ya, it's Showtime so this isn't for the kiddos!



Next up I have to say I can't believe I am watching a show on MTV or that we, Matt and I both are in love with a show on MTV! I had to look up what channel it was on my TV, ha! This show is Lord of the Rings meets hot teens... for real and we love it! This is based on bestselling fantasy books and it really is something to watch!


I thought that the WGN network only showed old Andy Griffin shows but man was I wrong! I actually saw the trailer for Outsiders in the movie theater before a movie and it looked awesome. Plus it is bringing back a favorite of mine from Sons of Anarchy! This show is set in the Appalachia and the "feral" families who live in the mountains and it is SO GOOD! We have also seen a trailer for another show on WGN called Underground set to premier next month about the underground railroad and we can't wait!


Lastly is a show I wanted to hate, I mean JLo really? JLo trying to be tough..... but we couldn't hate it, instead we love it! This show about crooked cops, the FBI and family is great.  We look forward to this show eat week and JLo is really good. So forgive me for not trusting in you! ha!


What new shows are you loving???


Monday, February 15, 2016

Monday Movie Mania

I thought we would kick off this Monday with one of my favorite things.... MOVIES! About once a week Matt and I see a movie and then I sneak off another day to see a daytime movie alone. In fact Matt does know me so well that for Valentines day he got me an AMC gift card for my "not so secret" daytime movies he says! HA! Anyhoo, I have 4 great movies to talk about today! YAY

Matt was out of town a few weeks ago so I went to see The Finest Hours and what is funny is that I wasn't really looking forward to this movie it just happened to be the new one out. But I am so glad I saw this, I loved it. The fact that this is a true story is unreal because that is exactly what it is.... unreal. This would be be great for anyone, including families. Go see this!


I have been trying real hard to see all the Best Picture movies this year and I was able to check another one off the list, Spotlight. This is about the journalists who uncovered the Catholic Priest sex-abuse scandal/cover up. The actors in this movie are great, the story is insightful but is this a best picture winner? I personally don't think so. For me this was a tad slow and anticlimactic. Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie just fine and you need to rent this for sure but don't run to your nearest theater .... ya know? Or maybe I just got a weird feeling about this because this stupid woman sat next to me and laughed the whole time. Ya, you heard me... laughed and this movie isn't funny, AT ALL. Crazy


Friday morning at 10am after I had my IUI procedure I decided to take it easy in a movie theater chair, typical! I went to see How to be Single and I LOVED it! This was just a fun, care free, chick flick that made me smile! I will say this isn't R for any nudity or actual sex but only Rebel Wilson's potty mouth! haha! If you have an afternoon and want to just check out and relax go see this!! Love!


Lastly Matt and I along with every other person alive went to see Deadpool this weekend for Valentines day! Let me start with saying that we both think we will love this more the second time around. Why? Once again the people next to us ruined the movie. This couple acted as if they have never been to a movie before or that maybe their life long goal was to see Deadpool. They hyena laughed the ENTIRE time, I am talking NON-STOP. I wanted to punch them in their throats which Deadpool would have approved might I add. If you are an adult then this movie is great, DON'T take your kids..... it is vulgar and they won't get any of it. This movie is funny, gory and breaks all the rules as in Mr. Pool talking directly to the audience! ha! We loved this movie it was just pure fun!




Friday, February 12, 2016

Friday Meal Planner!

Hi Guys, sorry I missed last week..... I was on blogging break! ha! But I am back to share with you all a few recipes I am making next week including my Valentines Day Night dinner I am making for Matt!

Friday Night Dinner:
Garlic and Parsley Butter Shrimp
French Bread for dipping
Roasted Brussel Sprouts

Weekend Breakfast:
I am hoping Matt makes me breakfast Sunday
Saturday:
Egg White Omlet with Mozzarella and Spinach
Pioneer Woman Cinnamon Toast

Saturday: Date Night to see Deadpool at the eat-in Movie! YAY

Valentines Day Dinner:
Matt's favorite meal all 4 are his favorite things!
Roast Chicken Purses
Grilled Ceasar Salad
Roast Asparagus
Red Velvet cake with Nutella Icing (I am going to make this in round pans and stack the cake)

Monday Night:
Potato Crusted Salmon
Arugula Salad with just EVOO and Lemon Juice
Roasted green beans

Tuesday and Thursday: I have plans with friends! yay

Wednesday:
Swedish Meatballs over Egg Noodles
Arugula Salad



Thursday, February 11, 2016

Here's the thang.....

This will more than likely me a very unpopular post, but here's the thang....... I have all this nonsense in my head and I need to get it out. Hence, my blog and not everything I post is all sunshine and roses.... I post about real life and if you know me then you know I am very forthcoming.
Now, this post I can guarantee will be universally agreed upon by anyone who has or is going thru infertility. And I can also guarantee that this post will be useful for anyone who knows someone going thru infertility. Think of this as a guide to expand your mind. K, thanks.

1. "If you just relax, and remove all the pressure to conceive then I know it will just happen"....

Oh wait, you mean that if I have sex with my husband that could get me pregnant? I had no idea, why in the world didn't we try that first. SAID NO ONE EVER. Here is the thing people really get confused and have NO IDEA how to conceive a baby. It is scientifically IMPOSSIBLE to get pregnant during any given month unless it is during that special 3-4 days MAX that you are ovulating. And I swear even though a doctor has explained this to Matt and I even Matt gets confused sometimes. Recently someone told him that we should just relax and try at home... and how if we have sex every day during a month like they did then we would get pregnant. I tried explaining to my husband that they got LUCKY, they had sex on the right day that she was ovulating and clearly didn't have medical problems. SO good for them, but 80% of the days that month they had sex it was scientifically impossible for them to get pregnant.
Also please explain to me how knowing that a fertility specialist has given us a 2% chance of ever getting pregnant on our own... how us forgoing all medical intervention and taking the next few years of trying on our own... how will that be relaxing? I mean for real?

2. " This is all in God's timing, trust in his plan".......

Here's the thang, I am a Christian I have my own relationship with God and I believe in heaven. I pray to him daily about this process, it comforts me and prayer helps...your prayers help.  Now with that saying I also believe that God has nothing to do with this process.... hear me out. I 100% will never believe that God says " You see them, let's make them deplete all their savings and add in emotional components and years of trying to have a baby because it's not the right time" NO WAY. I know that God does know how our life will unfold, he knows before we are born BUT I believe in free will, environmental factors and all of that... that is what is making this complicated for us. Not because God has stopped us from having a baby until he wills it to be. You will never convince me otherwise. God does not make awful/bad things happen to us, I don't think he would do that...he is made of love. Bad things do happen though, sadly and he sees it but does NOT cause it. SO no, the fact that we are not pregnant is in no way because God hasn't said it's our time yet... or that our time has passed. So telling someone in my position "It's all part of Gods plan, trust it" is not helpful. at all. But telling them you are praying for them and here for them... is helpful.

3. "Why don't you stop and just adopt"....

Well, adoption costs start at $35,000 and go up. So until we and many others like us magically have that amount of money it isn't realistic. And I have nothing against adoption in fact if this works for us eventually and we have 1 child, I won't do this again.... I would 100% save for adoption if we ever want a second child. But we are not there yet. We still have a few resources left to try before we stop to discuss this. And I am not sure if this is an all guy thing but Matt keeps saying "I need my bloodline and name to be passed on" and that doesn't come into my realm of thinking. I could care less about our bloodline but since he is the last Savage male, he really has it in his mind that he NEEDS a child of his own from him. And for now I let him carry that thinking because it is giving him something to hold onto, I think.

Listen, it is just frustrating when people make you feel like what you are doing is wrong in some way. Or how God made us to have a baby one way, not in a doctors office... that is insane. God has given us smart doctors who help, I am thankful for that. It is just hard dealing with what goes on inside your own head during this process, dealing with how this effects your marriage without having to deal with judgment and uneducated comments from people. I realize that the majority of people have good intentions while some I know there is underlining... something. And one more thing do not let this scare you off, myself as well a most people going thru this do not mind you checking in with us at all. How is it going, asking questions about the process so you can learn is something I do not mind AT ALL!
 So that is my piece today, I do feel much lighter now that I got this off my chest. Thanks for letting me talk this out.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Hey Guys

Sorry I have been away, I am kinda in a funky place.... and not just because of the infertility stuff but other things as well. SO due to that I don't really have a lot that I want to share right now and I just don't have it in me today to post more movie reviews (Even thought I have them, HA).
So give me a few days to get my head right and I will be back!
PS- HUGE snow storm here in Colorado today! I love it

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