Monday, August 15, 2016

IVF, What Happened

Hey All I am sorry that this post is days late but I have been and still am the sickest I have EVER been. Really, like beyond sick. BUT let's back up to last week.................

This cycle we did different hormones because the last cycle didn't produce enough eggs so if you remember my doctor said we would try things differently and if we get good results then... Great, hopefully we can make a baby but if we get bad results then most likely I am not a candidate for IVF and we would not move on past Cycle 2. Sadly, on Thursday we learned the latter. The combination of the medicine that I was injecting into me was killing my body this time and Thursday I woke up sick as a dog, so sick that Matt literally had to undress me, help me walk, literally inject me while I was in bed while I was crying. So by the time we made it to the doctors office I was in a bad state. And we knew as soon as the ultrasound wand was inside me that my follicles didn't grow enough. I cried because I was sick, I cried because I was sad and I cried because I tried so hard. They waited a few hours for my blood work to come back but we both knew that the call was that the cycle was canceled. BUT what I didn't put on Facebook because I didn't want to use the insemination on Facebook was that they had us come back Friday morning for an IUI. We did 6 of these if you remember, none of them worked but they/we wanted to try anything that would give us hope out of this mess. So yes, there is a chance this worked and I could be pregnant and we will find out in a few weeks but honestly I have been so sick I can't even put good vibes towards that right now. And I appreciate our doctor trying to pull a hail mary and give us something.... anything that could work.

The thing that is hard to grasp when an IVF fails is much like last time.... the amount of money for one that is now gone, the time, the emotions, the injections.... everything we did and it didn't work. And this time what I put my body thru and how sick I am..... IVF is something you would never wish on anyone, you don't know until you have done it. Last week I was in bed Thursday morning thru Yesterday. We have to wait until these hormones pass out of my system, we have to wait until this painful excessive bloating goes down... I currently look about 5 months pregnant but it is just painful fluids and the weight of my stimulated ovaries. Yesterday my doctor said if I got worse over night that Matt needed to take me to the ER, luckily I am about the same so I was able to avoid that.

I think one thing about being so sick is that I haven't been able to process this all yet, process that most likely on Thursday I found out I will never have a biological child. So many emotions go with that, its like I am on FB this weekend and everyone is living their BEST life, you know what I mean... so #blessed and I am living in the worst part of mine and I realize that life goes on and the world isn't going to stop because I am in a valley right now. I am in a place currently where I can't deal at the moment with other peoples stuff, ya know what I mean? I need time to deal with my stuff and I am sorry but I can't deal with your life right now too. Am I rambling?

OK ok.... moving on. So in a few weeks once we know if this IUI works or not we will then have our meeting with our doctor to discuss what happened and what is next. There are a few things on the table but I am not sure at this point at least I want to do anything more again. I am not sure I can. I am a planner so hopefully soon Matt and I will know the options, have our time to process and discuss and then have a new plan. A new plan that we can move towards.

Lastly, thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers. We truly appreciate it, very much so. I am heading back to bed.... you know it's bad when even you cat is tired of you taking up space in the bed 24/7.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sending hugs and prayers seems like not enough consolation. We will pray for that Hail Mary! (I am glad that the Dr is not ready to give up yet either, you have put your body and life through SO much). But, first let's get you well.

Sarah Couture said...

Hi Nicole,

I will continue to keep you in my prayers for healing, answers, and peace. Thank you for being so open an honest about your journey. I cannot say I know what you are going through because I do not nor will I try to pretend to but I will always keep you and Matt in my prayers.

Sincerely,
Sarah

Anonymous said...

You should look into other methods besides IVF. IVF is the most expensive without being the most effective, and it is so hard on the body (as I'm sure you can attest to). There are NaPro technology doctors all over the country (comes from NAtural PROcreative technology) that use different methods to treat infertility than IVF uses. NaPro has higher effectiveness than IVF and is not nearly as invasive or expensive. They may have more options for you, or at least a different perspective and a second opinion. Maybe after you've healed from all this, you might have the energy to seek them out. Here are some links: http://www.fertilitycare.org/ with Colorado doctors trained in this technology here: http://www.fertilitycare.org/colorado-medical-consultants/

Kendra Kelley said...

Continued prayers for you. My heart breaks while reading your words. I'm so sorry for what y'all are going through. You are so stinking strong. On our way back from Oklahoma to Idaho we were in your town. I thought of you and prayed for you right then too.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

@okienicole

Okie a la Mode
<div class="grab-button" margin: 0 auto;"><a href="http://www.okiealamode.com/" rel="nofollow"><img src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c4IPzZ-bl4Q/WXVUv-QHBDI/AAAAAAAATsc/FMGcfeX9o0ELqi_8TaE6mPQ02M1-hySjwCLcBGAs/s1600/OkiealaModeButton1.png" alt="Okie a la Mode"></div>

My Bookshelf

Categories

#BabyMakingDays #givingtuesday #hitchthehendersons #IVF #RHOBH 1every15 1in8 2014 2015 2016 2017 33 41 4th a' la mode abner about me ad Africa alcatraz animals anniversary anthropologie asian authors awards baby babymakingdays barsilinga baseball beach beauty because I said I would becky bedroom Bella best of the year Big Sis/Little Sis bikes birchbox birthdays blog award blog challenge blog sale blogs boards book club books boston botox breck broadmoor broncos cali car casa savage castle rock causes Challenge changetheworld charity Charleston Christian Christmas clearblue closet sale colorado colorado springs columbus comiccon community outreach concerts contest cooking country chic couponing crafty current events Curtis dance date night day trip debates DECASO decor Denver deotx deployment design dinner for one dinning room district office DIY doctors dogs dolphins drinks DSWT earl Elephant elway engaged estes park faith Fall fall fashion fall food famil Family Farmers fashion fathers day fblogger Fenway fertility friday fertility planit Five for Friday food football Friday Funny friends FSBO Fun funny furkids gameday garage Sale gentle barn Georgetown getaway getting to know me gift ideas gifts girls trip Give Aways give back glee goals God God Daughters goodies granddad grief grilled Guest Posts guests Halloween haunted health hello fresh history holiday holidays hollywood home home decor house house hunting hubby husband incubus infertility inspirational instagram interior design invisible children it works IUI IVF IVF2 iworry jeans jewelry JH job Junior League KD Kendall kitchen kol kony LA labor day Life Life Church lions lip sense love maine makeup Marine Marissa marriage matt meal plans meatless medium meds memories mexico Migraines military MLB mom monday moore mothers day mountain home move movies musical my 2 cents NBA new home New Year noah office Ohio okc okie oklahoma old pics ootd Oprah organize oscar oscars OU outfits outlander paranormal party patio peru pet photo shoot pinterest planner playoffs plus size politics pond prayer quiz real estate reality TV realtyONE Recipes red rocks relocation resolutions restore Reviews rockies Rosine sale salem San Diego san fran savage savagesellscolorado Savannah Scentsy SECOR secret secrets shopping silly sizzlin style skin snow sponsored sports spring staging stapleton staycation Stella and Dot strength style boards styled stylin summer summer slim down surlatable SYTYCD tailgate taji tattoo tbt Thankful Thursdays thanksgiving the cove thoughts throwback thunder tobi today show topper club tornado tour trailers TTC tutorial TV twilight tybee island update Vacation valentines day vegan vest visit volunteer wayfair wedding weekend weight loss weirdness What I'm Loving whatsfordinner willow house wine wineshopathome winter work working it workwear WW
 
Designed by Munchkin Land Designs • Copyright 2014 • All Rights Reserved