Wednesday, March 23, 2016

He is Home

Yesterday I picked up our boy Oscar and brought him home to us one last time. It was surprisingly devastating and peaceful at the same time. As soon as they called I rushed, I didn't want him to spend one more moment away from us, his family and his home. We were very pleased with his final resting place, the box is really beautiful. But at the same time while I hold that small box in my hand my longing to hold Oscar couldn't be stronger. We think that Oscar would like to be with us, where the action is and where the memories are made... so Oscar will be with us in the living room. The living room where he loved "snuggle city" while we watched our shows. The living room where he chewed his bones and destroyed blankets. The living room where he would run and chase Abner or surprise attack Ralph and the living room where thousands of kisses were given out.
The picture above is from Friday, after the decision was made. I took Oscar upstairs with me and laid him on the bed to not only spend some time with his sister Bella but so I could lay with him. We were face to face and I was telling him how handsome he was, how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him and I swear do you see it.... he is smiling. I know that he knew and I know he was at peace. So I try to come back to this picture, see his peace and feel comfort in that.

I feel like I have reached a different level in my grief.... a time where I can't believe this is real. I literally have to stop myself and try to wrap my head around it all. It's like I have reached some stage of denial..... like my brain and heart wants to stop believing this is true. How can this be??? I keep saying to myself.... how can this be. I am also scared, scared of the day that the pain will go away... I feel like when that happens part of Oscar will go away. Like the pain is somehow keeping him close to me, I know it sounds crazy but it's how I feel. I also feel guilty for a smile or a laugh. I know I know he would want me to be happy but it somehow doesn't seem right. yet.

I miss his rhino buns, his dashing grey around his face, I miss how excited he got to go to the mailbox with me, I miss seeing him run, I miss kissing the sweet spot on his neck, I miss watching him sleep, I miss how excited he got over meal time, I miss seeing the sun on his face, I miss hold him on my chest like a baby, I miss his growls and how demanding he was, I miss watching his face light up when I brought home a "new toy", I miss snuggling him, I miss his stinky breathe..................


Becky said...

Sweet friend...this is beautiful.

Sarah Couture said...

I felt better when we "brought Kayla back home" as well. She is in our living room and I created a shadow box with her picture, collar, and favorite toy that sits next to her. I often look up and talk to her when we are in the living room. I hope you begin to find peace and comfort.


Related Posts with Thumbnails


Okie a la Mode
<div class="grab-button" margin: 0 auto;"><a href="" rel="nofollow"><img src="" alt="Okie a la Mode"></div>

My Bookshelf


#BabyMakingDays #givingtuesday #hitchthehendersons #IVF #RHOBH 1every15 1in8 2014 2015 2016 2017 33 41 4th a' la mode abner about me ad Africa alcatraz animals anniversary anthropologie asian authors awards baby babymakingdays barsilinga baseball beach beauty because I said I would becky bedroom Bella best of the year Big Sis/Little Sis bikes birchbox birthdays blog award blog challenge blog sale blogs boards book club books boston botox breck broadmoor broncos cali car casa savage castle rock causes Challenge changetheworld charity Charleston Christian Christmas clearblue closet sale colorado colorado springs columbus comiccon community outreach concerts contest cooking country chic couponing crafty current events Curtis dance date night day trip debates DECASO decor Denver deotx deployment design dinner for one dinning room district office DIY doctors dogs dolphins drinks DSWT earl Elephant elway engaged estes park faith Fall fall fashion fall food famil Family Farmers fashion fathers day fblogger Fenway fertility friday fertility planit Five for Friday food football Friday Funny friends FSBO Fun funny furkids gameday garage Sale gentle barn Georgetown getaway getting to know me gift ideas gifts girls trip Give Aways give back glee goals God God Daughters goodies granddad grief grilled Guest Posts guests Halloween haunted health hello fresh history holiday holidays hollywood home home decor house house hunting hubby husband incubus infertility inspirational instagram interior design invisible children it works IUI IVF IVF2 iworry jeans jewelry JH job Junior League KD Kendall kitchen kol kony LA labor day Life Life Church lions lip sense love maine makeup Marine Marissa marriage matt meal plans meatless medium meds memories mexico Migraines military MLB mom monday moore mothers day mountain home move movies musical my 2 cents NBA new home New Year noah office Ohio okc okie oklahoma old pics ootd Oprah organize oscar oscars OU outfits outlander paranormal party patio peru pet photo shoot pinterest planner playoffs plus size politics pond prayer quiz real estate reality TV realtyONE Recipes red rocks relocation resolutions restore Reviews rockies Rosine sale salem San Diego san fran savage savagesellscolorado Savannah Scentsy Seattle SECOR secret secrets shopping silly sizzlin style skin snow sponsored sports spring staging stapleton staycation Stella and Dot strength style boards styled stylin summer summer slim down surlatable SYTYCD tailgate taji tattoo tbt Thankful Thursdays thanksgiving the cove thoughts throwback thunder tobi today show topper club tornado tour trailers TTC tutorial TV twilight tybee island update Vacation valentines day vegan vest visit volunteer wayfair wedding weekend weight loss weirdness What I'm Loving whatsfordinner willow house wine wineshopathome winter work working it workwear WW zoo
Designed by Munchkin Land Designs • Copyright 2014 • All Rights Reserved