Monday, March 14, 2016

1 Year

1 Year ago today my Granddad went to heaven, sometimes when I think about it I can't even believe it's true. How could it be that my Granddad is not here anymore? How can it be that he is not just a phone call away? I will admit that I have not fully grieved for him yet..... it's like I am holding onto him and I just won't let myself accept that he is gone. Over the past year there have been times when I felt myself slipping into utter devastation but I pull myself out of it. I don't think it is really healthy but I just can't.
Something I do know is that he visits me, I absolutely talk to him out loud from time to time because I really believe that he can hear me. And about a month ago he visited me in a dream.... and no, it wasn't "just" a dream... it was real, so real. That was so special and if you don't believe in things like that... than to each their own. But I got to see him, talk to him and hug him.

I wanted to share a special memory with you all today, as soon as I got Bella my cat Granddad would come over and spend time with her. You see Granddad always had a key to anywhere I lived... When I was at work he would come over and watch TV with his Bella. Then when we got the dogs he would always come over several times a week to spend time with his Grand-dogs. It broke my heart when we moved the first time to Ohio because I was taking that away from him. He missed them and always asked me how is Grand-dogs were and I know the animals loved him just as much. That is just one of the stories that makes up my life with Granddad.... my entire 33 years I spent with him I saw him at LEAST 3 times a week, every week. Our bond was very special and I miss it everyday.
I love you Granddad and I know you know my heart, all the unspoken things I want to say.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a touching tribute to your Grandfather. I think it's wonderful that you talk to him and he visits you in your sleep. You were blessed to have him and he was blessed to have you.

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