Monday, January 18, 2016

aru5gh6%#cia....


SO ever since I started our fertility journey last Summer, I don't sleep. Some nights it's due to these incredible hot flashes I get ALL night but the others are even more torturous. The picture above is funny but true. Why is it that when you are at the end of your rope begging God to put you to sleep that your mind decides to torture you? Literally my mind will make me think of things in the past I wish I could forget,  it will make me stress over money and then my mind will then play out worst case scenarios until I literally want to cry. The kicker? Is that when I do get to sleep I have the WORST nightmares ever. I have always been prone to night terrors since I was little but now my mind just can't get enough. I am guessing that all the medicine and hormones I am injecting into myself is causing this but I would give anything for it to stop. One of my Migraine triggers is sleep. Not getting it, getting irregular sleep and right now I can't help it.... so waking up with a migraine is the final straw of my sanity. This morning I wanted to cry because I feel so awful and sadly I needed to vent so you all get to listen to this on a Monday morning. I now know why they use sleep deprivation as a torture tool because you will literally get to a point where you would do anything to sleep. Woah is me.
And when Matt asks "Whats my problem" lately, he just doesn't understand.... my entire body and mind is being turned upside down and I can't help it. bleh.

2 comments:

Sarah Couture said...

Hi Nicole, you are in my prayers. I hope that you can get some relief and sound sleep. Guys have a had time understanding us and our emotions and I get frustrated when Chris just doesn't get it.
Sarah

Anonymous said...

Oh Nicole, I am so sorry to hear this. You are already going through so much and no sleep on top is the worst. I will be praying specifically for sleep too. All the chemicals definitely add to the reasons I am sure. (Hugs to you sweet girl). Janet

Related Posts with Thumbnails

@okienicole

Okie a la Mode
<div class="grab-button" margin: 0 auto;"><a href="http://www.okiealamode.com/" rel="nofollow"><img src="http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac293/munchkin_land_designs/BlogDesigns2/OkiealaMode/OkiealaModeButton1.png" alt="Okie a la Mode"></div>

My Bookshelf

Designed By:


Munchkin Land Designs

Categories

#BabyMakingDays #givingtuesday #hitchthehendersons #IVF #RHOBH 1every15 1in8 2014 2015 2016 2017 33 41 4th a' la mode abner about me ad Africa alcatraz animals anniversary anthropologie asian authors awards baby babymakingdays barsilinga baseball beach beauty because I said I would becky bedroom Bella best of the year Big Sis/Little Sis bikes birchbox birthdays blog award blog challenge blog sale blogs boards book club books boston botox breck broadmoor broncos cali car casa savage castle rock causes Challenge changetheworld charity Charleston Christian Christmas clearblue closet sale colorado colorado springs columbus comiccon community outreach concerts contest cooking country chic couponing crafty current events Curtis dance date night day trip debates DECASO decor Denver deotx deployment design dinner for one dinning room district office DIY doctors dogs dolphins drinks DSWT earl Elephant elway engaged estes park faith Fall fall fashion fall food famil Family Farmers fashion fathers day fblogger Fenway fertility friday fertility planit Five for Friday food football Friday Funny friends FSBO Fun funny furkids gameday garage Sale gentle barn getaway getting to know me gift ideas gifts girls trip Give Aways give back glee goals God God Daughters goodies granddad grief grilled Guest Posts guests Halloween haunted health hello fresh history holiday holidays hollywood home home decor house house hunting hubby husband incubus infertility inspirational instagram interior design invisible children it works IUI IVF IVF2 iworry jeans jewelry JH job Junior League KD Kendall kitchen kol kony LA labor day Life Life Church lions lip sense love maine makeup Marine Marissa marriage matt meal plans meatless medium meds memories mexico Migraines military MLB mom monday moore mothers day move movies musical my 2 cents NBA new home New Year noah office Ohio okc okie oklahoma old pics ootd Oprah organize oscar oscars OU outfits outlander paranormal party patio peru pet photo shoot pinterest planner playoffs plus size politics pond prayer quiz real estate reality TV realtyONE Recipes red rocks relocation resolutions restore Reviews rockies Rosine sale salem San Diego san fran savage savagesellscolorado Savannah Scentsy SECOR secret secrets shopping silly sizzlin style skin snow sponsored sports spring staging stapleton staycation Stella and Dot strength style boards styled stylin summer summer slim down surlatable SYTYCD tailgate taji tattoo tbt Thankful Thursdays thanksgiving the cove thoughts throwback thunder tobi today show topper club tornado tour trailers TTC tutorial TV twilight tybee island update Vacation valentines day vegan vest visit volunteer wayfair wedding weekend weight loss weirdness What I'm Loving whatsfordinner willow house wine wineshopathome winter work working it workwear WW
 
Designed by Munchkin Land Designs • Copyright 2014 • All Rights Reserved