Thursday, December 31, 2015

Ups and Downs

2015 was a weird year, as I was looking back to make this post I loved seeing all the fun things we got to do. I loved seeing all the experiences we shared with all our family and friends who came to stay with us this year. But, this year was also filled with unbelievable heartbreak. I do feel like I am leaving 2015 a little more beaten down than what I was this time last year. 
I am a part of a blogger group on Facebook and yesterday the post/roll call was for everyone to share what their word of 2016 would be and why. I was surprised when one word immediately popped into my head
HOPE
That word is a double edge sword it can bring great happiness or ultimate disappointment but HOPE is my word. Hope that 2016 will be better, that 2016 will be the year that things will happen for us. HOPE for a baby, HOPE that I will finish Real Estate school and start a career, HOPE that our finances will fall into place.... and I could go on and on!

But on this last day of 2015 let's look back at a few memories that stand out.....

2015 was the year that we bought a home in Colorado! The process may have been the worst but the outcome is the best. 
 2015 was the year that we went to a Rockies Game, Nuggets game (vs Thunder) and a Broncos game! We love sporting events and hopefully this year we will go to more!
 This was the year that I went White Water rafting for the first time in like 18 years!!!
 This year was the year that my Oma came to see me!! She also took her first plane ride in over 25 years! Those memories will last a lifetime for us all.
This was also the year that I actually got to cross 2 things off of my Bucket List:
1. Stay the night at The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park! Thanks Becky's!!!
 2. Visit Alcatraz Island!
2015 also brought immeasurable loss, my Granddad. I still do not think I have allowed myself to grieve properly, I can't think about it. What he was in my life's story is irreplaceable. There is NOT one day that I do not miss him. 
 This year was also the year that we learned that we will be saying Goodbye to one of our children soon, Oscar. Somedays Oscar acts so normal we think he will be around for quite awhile longer but other days are bad and we think the time might be near. But right now we are giving him all the love you can imagine.
This isn't the only year we have been trying to conceive, that started in 2014 and I can't believe another whole year has passed for us and we were not able to make a baby. This has consumed my life, the doctors visits, ultrasounds, blood work, shots, IUI.... you name it. This picture below sums up most of 2015. 

Well 2015 you were Grand at times and Horrific at times, I am not really sad to see you go. I need to be filled with Hope about what 2016 will bring instead of scared.
Happy New Year friends thanks for sharing in my life with me, the good and the bad! I love ya all!


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is has been nice to follow your journey through 2015. Thank you as always for the transparency on your "downs" and celebrating your "ups".

This post made me want to choose a WORD, but you know I say a lot, so I had to choose a few. Also, I have honestly, never made a bucket list. This post has made me want to stop and do that too. I have had a few but, never wrote them down. Thanks for the inspiration to do that today!

Becky said...

It was definitely a BIG year! I'm glad I was a part of it.

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