Monday, November 2, 2015
I know a lot of you have been wondering about Oscar, how he is doing and how we are going to move forward. Also, I want to thank you all for your concern, prayers and thoughtfulness!
Matt and I did come to a decision last week, and it wasn't easy. Like I said in the last post (HERE) this is a NO-WIN situation. So any decision we come to we will second guess, feel guilt and not feel 100% about. Matt and I prayed, talked to doctors, cried and made a Pros and Cons list to help us make our decision. We have decided not to invasively treat Oscar. You see Oscar is not like our other weenie Abner who had 13 teeth pulled in dental surgery and bounced back so well that the doctors were amazed! Oscar is a high anxiety/high stress dog. His recovery from the Ct Scan and biopsy took him a week and that was nothing compared to what would have to happen to him over the course of treatment. Since Oscar is so high stress we cannot put him thru that. It's hard, this situation has consumed me, last week I woke up crying in the middle of the night and feeling such a loss for Oscar. I need to enjoy this and take it all in instead of being scared of what is to come...We want to make his remaining time with us filled with LOVE, smiles and a full belly for him.
How long? That is the big question isn't it? We are thinking the end of the year at best. Based on how he is acting, what the doctors have told us and our gut.
Now, another layer to this story is something I did last Friday. Matt was not supportive in this but I did it because I believe. I researched Pet Physics in Denver and found an amazing women who has written books, been on TV and her testimonials were great to read. Now, I am a believer... if you know anything about me you know this. And if you don't believe then good for you but what this women told me was UNREAL. She came to the house last Friday and stayed for over an hour and she spent time with each animal and conveyed to me what they wanted me to know. Things the animals told her to tell me.... no one could have known and NO, I didn't give her any information when she got here. Here is the "jest" of what Oscar wanted to convey to us........
We made the right decision. He said that although his body isn't wearing down like other dogs in his situation are, that is mind and spirit are. He said that he doesn't have it in him much longer to fight. He said he is tired and his spirit is worn down. She went into more detail but that was the big part of it that I wanted to share with you all. It doesn't make this decision easier but it helps to reaffirm that we made the correct decision, I really feel like he spoke thru this woman. He also told me of a "sign" he would do when he is ready, which was really hard to hear. So only time would tell if that will happen and when. This hour with the pet physic was so amazing I cannot express to you how I felt when she left and to see how all the animals acted towards her was something else.
Anyways.... my parents are here in 2 weeks for a Broncos game and my Dad is going to take family pictures of Matt, Oscar and I so that we will always have them to look at. I am going to get him a very dapper bowtie which he will look adorable in.
I will keep you all updated, please keep Oscar in your prayers.