Thursday, December 31, 2015

Ups and Downs

2015 was a weird year, as I was looking back to make this post I loved seeing all the fun things we got to do. I loved seeing all the experiences we shared with all our family and friends who came to stay with us this year. But, this year was also filled with unbelievable heartbreak. I do feel like I am leaving 2015 a little more beaten down than what I was this time last year. 
I am a part of a blogger group on Facebook and yesterday the post/roll call was for everyone to share what their word of 2016 would be and why. I was surprised when one word immediately popped into my head
HOPE
That word is a double edge sword it can bring great happiness or ultimate disappointment but HOPE is my word. Hope that 2016 will be better, that 2016 will be the year that things will happen for us. HOPE for a baby, HOPE that I will finish Real Estate school and start a career, HOPE that our finances will fall into place.... and I could go on and on!

But on this last day of 2015 let's look back at a few memories that stand out.....

2015 was the year that we bought a home in Colorado! The process may have been the worst but the outcome is the best. 
 2015 was the year that we went to a Rockies Game, Nuggets game (vs Thunder) and a Broncos game! We love sporting events and hopefully this year we will go to more!
 This was the year that I went White Water rafting for the first time in like 18 years!!!
 This year was the year that my Oma came to see me!! She also took her first plane ride in over 25 years! Those memories will last a lifetime for us all.
This was also the year that I actually got to cross 2 things off of my Bucket List:
1. Stay the night at The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park! Thanks Becky's!!!
 2. Visit Alcatraz Island!
2015 also brought immeasurable loss, my Granddad. I still do not think I have allowed myself to grieve properly, I can't think about it. What he was in my life's story is irreplaceable. There is NOT one day that I do not miss him. 
 This year was also the year that we learned that we will be saying Goodbye to one of our children soon, Oscar. Somedays Oscar acts so normal we think he will be around for quite awhile longer but other days are bad and we think the time might be near. But right now we are giving him all the love you can imagine.
This isn't the only year we have been trying to conceive, that started in 2014 and I can't believe another whole year has passed for us and we were not able to make a baby. This has consumed my life, the doctors visits, ultrasounds, blood work, shots, IUI.... you name it. This picture below sums up most of 2015. 

Well 2015 you were Grand at times and Horrific at times, I am not really sad to see you go. I need to be filled with Hope about what 2016 will bring instead of scared.
Happy New Year friends thanks for sharing in my life with me, the good and the bad! I love ya all!


Tuesday, December 29, 2015

#4 is OUT the door.....


Hi Guys, sorry I have been away for a week but I was enjoying Christmas with Matt away from my computer and then I had to take a mental health day yesterday.... AKA.... stay in bed all day with my cat day! Yesterday morning I found out IUI #4 didn't take. So ya, that sucked. In the past posts I have been super positive and upbeat while sharing the news with you guys but I am not feeling that way today. Life is real, life is messy and I can only be myself and sometimes that isn't full of rosey feelings.
 Each month I feel differently when I find out the news and this month was very different, I am mad at myself. Why? Because I allowed myself to hope. This weekend I really got my hopes up, I pinned things to my secret "Baby" pinterest board, I made plans in my head and I even let myself buy a STUPID pregnancy magazine at Barnes and Noble. So when I found out I was crushed. Crushed and Mad..... why did I let myself get my hopes up so high? When they are so high they can only go down. I'm stupid.
But you are probably thinking that a positive attitude and hope is helpful in this process and it can be but where is the line? Where is the line of being positive and sending good vibes to your womb and not getting your hopes up to high?? I should have known better and I cannot allow myself to let my thoughts get ahead again. I mean is there any worse feeling than utter disapointment?
And another thing is this card above, I need to remind myself that other people cannot understand what we go thru and how could they? And people mean well when they say "This is all God's plan" or "It isn't God's timing yet" or my favorite "If you just relax and stop thinking about it, it will happen naturally" well guys I hate to break it to you that is NOT true at all.  Relaxation has nothing to do with this, this is science.... do you think we didn't try the "natural" way first? Before spending thousands? And second I do not believe for one second this is God's plan. I think God knows what the outcome will be and he knows the people this experience will turn us into but this isn't God's doing. This is life, things that happen in the life we were given. God doesn't pick out people to refuse babies too or make them go the hard way. God didn't pick this path for us, our bodies did. But I know he is with us along the way and I absolutely pray to him for help, but he didn't do this. Does any of that rambling make sense?

Last subject for me to vent over today is HORMONES. During each cycle I not only ingest hormones via pill form but I have Matt give me shots of hormones into my very bruised thighs. And sometimes I forget the affect this can have on me, when I feel so full of emotion I could burst, or when I feel so very blue.... these medicines are taking who I am and exaggerating all of it. And this is hard on a marriage too, Matt forgets this and when I remind him of this he sees this as an excuse. An excuse for my bad attitude or behavior. Gosh, it's so hard... I think I am being myself, normal... I don't think I am being crazy or mean but when it is pointed out to me constantly..... then, I guess I am.... it really beats me down. I cannot control what all this is doing to me, I feel helpless. And I am tired of arguing over "my attitude".... does this make sense to anyone else who has been thru this process? Anyone out there? ha!

Anyways, here is the plan..... today I am gonna pick myself up and dust off. Tomorrow I go for an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok in there and if so we will start round 5. I will start the meds again tomorrow and we will go from there. ITS ROUND 5 LOOK ALIVE? Ugh... nothing really rhymes with 5. I have a good feeling about this round. Thanks for listening.



Wednesday, December 23, 2015

The Name Game



SO I posted this video on Facebook last night and some of my friends shared in the laugh as well as the guilt over doing this. You know that if you have been to my house my animals all have several names and some most be sung in songs.... and they really do answer to these names, I swear!
So, I was inspired to pull back the curtain at our house and share with you these crazy names which I am sure Matt will deny ever happen. Now, some are not even real words... so I will sound them out for you.
Don't judge.... or do..... it just means if I spent this much time on silly names they are truly loved! Lets dive in.......
Given Name: Oscar Savage
Nicknames: Osckie-pants, Osc, Pup, Puperoni, Puppy-Parts, Jerbrone, Jerbronie, Roni, Roni-Rutter , Rhino-buns
 Given Name: Abner Gundy Savage
Nicknames: Abby, Foo, Mr. Magoo, Fabby, Turtle Dove, Hippie-Hoe, Hungry Hippo, Mr. Foo Foo, Fooby from the Old Country
 Given Name: Isabella "Bella" DuBois-Savage
Nicknames: Bella, Belly, Smelly, Moosh, Mooshee, NeeNee, Chicken, Neens,
Song: Boots with the Fur by Nelly

Given Name: Ralph West Savage
Nicknames: Roo, Roobear, Roobee, Ralphie, Buttercup, Ruberto, Ruubeartooo (said with rolling of tongue like I'm Italian) Roobicon, Roobeedoo, Doo
Song: The Davy Crocket Song "Roobee, Roobee-Doobie, King of the wild frontier"

We also have specific songs for eating I call "Hungry Hippie-Hoes" and for going to the restroom "Potty People" which is a rap song.
Yes, people.... this is my real life.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Merry Christmas

We haven't done Christmas cards in over 3 years so I thought... It's about time! And this year we featured the loves of our lives on them... our animals!
(Ignore the black, its my counter top)

Last week we also made a decision about Christmas, even though we have had flights booked for quite some time to go home to Oklahoma we have decided to stay here. Oscar has good days and bad days and part of his bad days include him lashing out more than usual. And A- we can't leave him with a stranger, if he bit them we could be sued. B- we can't leave our sick baby. Matt suggested I go home without him but I decided we would both stay and do our own thing.
We are sad to miss out on spending the Holidays with our families but ultimately we made the right decision for our little family and our boy Oscar!
Merry Christmas friends and family!


Monday, December 21, 2015

A Card for you, A Card for you....



Well, Sadly I am NOT Oprah BUT I am announcing my Give Away winner tonight! I think it sounded like a GREAT way to start off Christmas Week!!!!!

Congrats.....

Blogger Sarah Couture said...
I would send my first card to my best friend in OK who needs some cheering up. This is the cutest thing, thanks for sharing Nicole! Have a Merry Christmas!
Sarah Couture
Ledge217@aol.com
December 17, 2015 at 6:42 PM
 Delete

Sarah, email me your shipping address to nsavage@live.com and I will send it over to the amazing couple behind Sincerely Box!!!!! Congrats and Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Sincerely Box + Give Away!

Hi guys, can you believe that ONE week from TODAY is Christmas Eve???? EEK! I mean where did this year go? Do you have all your shopping done?? Wrapped? Ready to go?? Well if your like me you might have a few people left on your list. I know I know this year I didn't get around to doing my Holiday gift guides on the blog BUT I do have your saving grace right here folks!

Ok.... Who loves to check the mail as much as I do????? Who LOVES getting packages?? ME me me!! And if you need a last minute gift or want to treat yourself a monthly box of fun is the way to go! And lucky for you I have found my new favorite subscription............

Check this out....... Every month Sincerely Box will send you 4 Handmade Cards and 4 stamps to go along with it right to your mailbox..... for ONLY $24!
 Look how adorable these cards are, now the hard part is narrowing down who I am going to send these to. This adorable card subscription does all the work for you, your family and friends will LOVE getting something sweet from you from time to time in their mailbox!
 The card below is my favorite because I am after all a "Basic White Girl" who loves Seasonal Beverages. The card is also really great at hiding the fact that I may or may not have showered that day!
Where can you find about more about this adorable card box??? You can click HERE or type this into your browser https://www.sincerelybox.com
The website is beyond cute and easy to use! And calm down friends and family if you are not my lucky recipient of this box for Christmas you can always keep your fingers crossed when your Birthday comes around!
 Now, I have 2 things for you.......
* If you enter the Promo Code okiealamode when placing your order you will receive 10% OFF your first Sincerely Box! YAY for discounts!
Holiday Give Away!
I am giving away ONE Sincerely Box to a special reader and here is how to enter!
1. Leave me a comment with your name, email address and who would get your first Sincerely Box Card. It's easy to leave a comment, at the end of this post click the word comment like the picture below (where my mouse is) and leave your comment!
2. You have until Monday at NOON to enter
3. Spread the word about this post along with some Christmas Cheer for all to hear!!!!!

Happy Entering Friends!!!!! Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

My TOP Shows of 2015

I watch a LOT of TV and I LOVE A lot of shows but still my top are my TOP!!! And this is in order and if your not watching then you are missing out!

1. What can I say.... I LOVE a good zombie and I love how intense this show is... it keeps me on my toes!
 2. Outlander... I cannot express who stunning this show is, how amazing the actors are and how beautiful a job they did brining this book to life! #love
 3. Narcos, I know I know that 1/2 this show is in subtitles but it is worth every word you read. I loved this show and I swear I became obsessed with this.....
 4. Homeland, I swear this show can do NO wrong.... this is literally the best of the best. My love for this show knows no bounds and in the off time I literally start from the beginning again because I want to experience it all again!
 5. Game of Thrones AND let me say that I have loved this show since the very first episode aired all those years ago... I am not a bandwagon fan but an original OG!!!!!
 6. Flesh and Bone.... want to know the only bad thing about this show??? the fact that there was ONLY 8 episodes. And each person is an actual ballerina and they can act.... talk about amazing talent! Watch this!
 7. Daredevil! And last but not least this show is pure FUN! I love the adult spin on a comic book character and I cannot wait until season 2!!!!!
What are you favorites this year????

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Best Movies of 2015!

You know picking out my favorite movies is always hard for me, because I just LOVE movies! But there were defiantly a few that stood out to me this year and of course they are very different!


* American Sniper
Technically I guess this came out last December but Matt and I didn't see this until January and we loved it. I thought that this is Bradley Coopers best movie to date and it really spoke to us. I had already read Chris Kyle's book so seeing this come alive on screen was great for me. 
 * Insurgent
I just love this whole series, actually I prefer the movies to the books on this one. I think they have done such a great job and this movie I can watch over and over and over.... a real sign I loved it!
 * Magic Mike XXL
I know, I know and I swear I didn't pick it because of my mild obsession with Channing. I picked this because after how awful the first one was this was a complete surprise! This movie was NON-stop FUN! I left the theater wanting to bust a move and watch it again. This movie will make you smile!
 * The Woman in Gold
If you have not seen this movie please do so NOW! This wasn't big at the box office but this was amazing. This is a true story about one woman family in Austria and how the Nazi's stealing all their possessions shaped them. This will make you smile and you will learn something all while falling in love with this movie!
 * Southpaw
Talk about another surprise! We went to see this because of Kurt Sutter, whom we love. (He did Sons of Anarchy) This movie isn't just about boxing, this movie has heart and we loved loved it. This is actually my favorite movie of the year.
 * The Martian
And of course this movie, this was the "smartest" movie I have seen and you will weirdly think you are watching a true story.... it is that good! Can't wait until this is out OnDemand!
What were your favorites this year?????

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

My TOP Books of 2015

Every year I enjoy looking back at the things I have loved, mainly Books, TV and Movies! But of course! And I love sharing my tops of the year with you all!! My top books are SO different and unique to one another but thats what makes it great! If you haven't read these I HIGHLY suggest you do so!!!!

6.  The Rumor by Elin Hildebrand!
This book may seem just like a silly chick-lit but I fell in love with it. Set in Nantucket this is a story about rumors, what is true, love and starting over. This book has depth and might surprise you how you just might be cheering for infidelity. I loved this book!
5. The Good Girl by Mary Kubica!
This book is a bit of a thriller and it is filled with twists. Mia is the main character who is abducted and not everything is as it seems. I couldn't put this book down each night.......
 4. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Mass!
This book snuck up on me, it is the first of what I assume will be a trilogy so there was a lot to set up. I enjoyed it alright and then WHAM I was hooked! This is filled with magic, fairies, love and intrigue and I cannot wait for book 2 this Spring!!!! Book Club if this isn't being passed around your missing out!
 3. Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire
So my friend Becky told me she read this book and really liked it which made me pick it up and man o man did my obsession begin! To say I loved this book is an understatement.... I fell in love hard with this teen love drama! It's so funny how a book can make you feel so much but this one sure does! READ IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 2. A Shade of Vampire Series by Bella Forrest
SO My kindle suggested this book for me and I saw that it had over 1500 5-star reviews and it was only .99 so I gave it a whirl........ and it was a whirl!!! In one month I read 11 of the books like a crazy person before I finally needed to take a break. I mean isn't the teen vampire thing over? Heck no.... these books are so good, I swear you must read them!!!!!! DO IT NOW!
 1. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
I LOVE Kristin Hannah, each book she writes is so different and I love them just the same, she is hands down one of my all time favorite authors. In this book she expanded on a love of mine... Historical Fiction and this was set in Paris during Nazi reign. This book is really something special and it is hands down the best book I read all year. Love! And it is going to be a movie and I cannot wait!



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