Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Blue.


Hi Guys! I am always honest on here about everything and I am hoping that purging this will help lighten me. I am feeling really blue. It's been that way for a week or two....much more so than normal..It is as if this huge weight is holding me down. And I cannot pin point it......

I feel like I need to get out of the house but when I do I want to go home.
I feel like doing something but then I feel like doing nothing
I feel like being productive and starting a "purge the home" project but then I have no desire to start
I go to a movie but can't enjoy it because my mind wanders

I realize this is all do to the change in my life somehow, I do but that doesn't mean I like it. I can spend hours here sitting at my desk in my home office thinking about what to do with myself. And then I do it all over the next day. And yes, yes....I am doing productive things around the home BUT I can't really start any packing until this home is sold. And I just can't bring myself to start anything.

I have cleaned my office, went thru files, cleaned the pantry and donated food, went thru pictures and scrap booked....you name it, I have done it. I wish the weather was enjoyable so I could force myself to go on a walk each day but I just can't when the high is 20'.

I am lonely but I am not.
I have always said I am ok alone and I don't feel like I NEED someone here but I just feel empty.
Matt is actually flying home this Friday-Monday at my request to help me with a second showing of our home....so that is good. But at times even thinking about everything that needs to be done this weekend exhausts me. My Mom has had a trip planned for a month or so and she gets here next Thursday night, so that is very exciting but currently I can't seem to muster up any excitement yet. I know........ Blah blah blah me and my #firstworldproblems but this is my life and I currently feel lost.
Woah is me. Maybe I will go roam the isles of Target again.

2 comments:

Amy said...

Sorry you're having a hard time. Limbo is such a hard place to live. Hopefully once your home sells and you can start really packing and doing what you want it will help. Praying for you!

Girl On a Journey said...

So sorry to hear you are so blue. :(
I am glad to hear Matt and your Mom are coming though. Going through the aisles at Target should help or online shopping. Retail therapy may help and you are all about bargains. Maybe work on some Easter outfit ideas for the family. I agree limbo is very difficult. Will say prayers these buyers will be the ones and you can say "Denver here I come...furr babies and belongings in tow! Columbus thanks for the memories!"

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