Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Weird Wednesday....

So today instead of What I am Loving Wednesday I have decided to do a "Weird Wednesday" post.....why? Because! Actually there is a reason and stay with me here.......you know there are several "types" of blogs out there and some you read because their life seems so fabulous that you want to live thru them. Well, we all know that isn't me, no one is clamoring to have my life. But there are other blogs that you read because you can relate, reading them is like talking to an old friend.....and I hope that is what I am to you! We all know I am not afraid to share with you all unflattering things about myself, if you can't poke fun at yourself and talk frankly with your friends.......well, then that sucks! HA! So with all that being said I bring you......."Weird Wednesday"
So I have a bad destructive habit.........destructive to my face and my psyche!! Every night when I go get ready for bed and wash my face I pick my face to death. Even when there isn't anything to pick at I scour my face with a fine tooth comb and pick at my imperfections. Even worse every time I do this my mind reels......how so? I will think about problems, relive situations, dissect choices and make myself feel bad. It is truly this awful cycle of self loathing, picking at my face AND then I get mad at myself for doing it this hence the evil cycle continues. It is like during this 30minutes my mind runs away from me......I become a debbie downer times 10. Each night as I walk upstairs to get ready for bed I tell myself...not tonight, this isn't healthy I am not going to do it but as soon as I catch a glimpse of myself in that magnified mirror I am off and running (or that is what I should do, lol)! Sucks huh? It is so weird too, I swear my mind can bring up something that happened years ago and I will dissect it until I have beat myself up for like 30 minutes. Does anyone else have such a odd habit? Something you do, that you hate but you can't stop? I mean I guess I should be glad I don't do this everyday over say a gallon of ice cream?! (not funny I know) But if you think about it....it goes hand in hand for me.....I pick my face, pick my body apart and then my mind thinks awful things about myself. I sound like a teenager.....but I guess we don't outgrow everything?
Is it just me who has such a weirdly bad habit? Are you gonna let me hang out on the cliff alone? haha!
Well guys, sometimes it is nice to share! I hope I haven't scared anyone off.........I am only 1/2 as weird as I sound!

4 comments:

Becky said...

First off...get rid of the magnified mirror...NO ONE looks good in one of those.
Secondly, I am right there on that cliff with you. We've talked a lot, but mine has to do with the food I eat. I STILL beat myself up when I don't eat the "right" food. I also still see an overweight person in the mirror. In fact, I'll pull up skin on my legs and butt and dream about the day that I've had plastic surgery in those areas and how wonderful it will look afterwards.

See...you are not alone.

ReFunkMyJunk said...

YOU CRACK ME UP! Please tell me WHO can sit in front of one of those mirrors and not feel like CRAP about themselves! I am seriously considering getting Botox thanks to my magnified mirror. I am pretty sure Satan lives in thos damn mirrors! Let's have a mirror burning party!

Jodie said...

I agree, get rid of the magnified mirror! I do the same thing about my acne, I go through cycles where I just stare at myself... and ask God... why must I still have these polka dots on my face!! You aren't alone! :)

Caroline said...

I'm a total picker too. It's too hard to help it! I swear, it's gotten a little better, but for awhile I'd pick at my face so much that I looked like a meth addict. It's awful! And of course you know while you're doing it that in the morning it's going to look so much worse than whatever minuscule bump you were messing with in the first place. Something to work on I suppose!

As for self-loathing - I think we all have our individual issues. Things have improved for me a ton, but once that beat-yourself-up-ball gets rolling it sure is hard to stop!

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