Tuesday, January 18, 2011

So? Whats next?

Hi friends! I debated for about a week whether to write this post or not but it always (well most of the time) makes me feel good to get things out in this wide open space I call my blog!! So I have been feeling a little blue, not Navy blue but more like baby blue since the 1st of the new year. I am guessing that alot of people my age who do not have children will go thru something like this........whats next?
I mean I am almost 30 with no kids so I am here at a point where I am thinking "what do I do now"? Which is odd because I am always busy, but doing what? You see with Matt he is working towards his career in Farmers and sometime soon getting his own District. He is also setting the ground work for our future and I suppose some kid-less people do instead work towards career goals...but me? I am not sure if my currrent "job" is my career. Yes, yes I am one of "those people" the "When will I find out what I want to be when I grow up people". I do know my role in our little family that consists of bringing home a salary to cover our bills so Matt can save and concentrate on this career, I take care of the animals, I also sell Scentsy which I LOVE and I serve on the Board of Junior Hospitality Club which I will continue to do for some time.
But I mean what am I doing? Last year as silly as it sounds I planned and saved for Matt's big 3-0 all year which gave me something to do and plan for but this year? I dunno. I do hope that maybe towards the end of this year we can start looking seriously for a new home and that will be great fun. But with no kids to plan for I am feeling a little empty. And NO please don't comment and tell me to have some.....NOT YET. It is not in our 3-5 year plan but someday....yes! There are much more things to do on our "list" before that becomes #1. Hello, with all my migraine/health insurance trouble I do not even have maternity coverage. But that is another day another topic............
So I ask you if you have or don't have kids do you ever feel this way? Am I normal? Was this too much soul searching for a Tuesday?


Jeana said...

Ahhhhh Nicole! I love you! I hate to say this but I sorta know how you feel and can relate to what you are going through. When the kids are with their dad I feel that sense of "Ok, what do I do now"...I was just telling Becky that I need to come up with more to do when the kids are gone, a hobby or something...but I do know how you feel...I'm going through the "but I'm a mom, that's it" feeling right now...maybe together we can come up with something cool to do! HA!! So you are not abnormal...you are very normal! I miss you! Hopefully I'll see you soon! :-) Hang in there!!

Becky said...

Never too much soul searching. I think this is a normal thought pattern for people in our age group, I have been in this same place (a couple of times). I don't think it hasn't anything to do with kids...what I think it has to do with finding a higher purpose for yourself. I haven't found all of the answers for myself yet either, but I have found contentment in the day to day.

I also believe that when you feel something missing and try to fill it with something "worldly" then it will continue to feel empty. These are times that I find the most comfort in seeking Christ.

I love ya and I know that you will find that purpose that you are destined to fulfill.

No Longer Newlyweds. said...

You are NORMAL. Remember, I was 30 and without children too. I worked full time. I had a husband who worked full time too. Even thought we were super busy, but both felt empty and ready for more. Kids solve that problem. =)
And, yes...you still have stuff to save for now that Matt's 30 is over. Save for a CRIB!!!

The O'Reilly Family said...

I say enjoy your kid-less free time now! And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Savor it, Love it!! I love my kids more than life itself, but there are days when I wish I had one hour to myself to do whatever I wanted. Moments like that are hard to find now, so maybe come up with a hobby to keep you occupied. All I know is when the time is right, it will be presented to you. Timing is everything and I'm sure you'll be an amazing mom. So in the meantime, read all the magazines you want, watch all the DVR you can because Yo Gabba Gabba will take over your TV one day, savor your shopping in peace and quiet, take as many baths as you can without a little hand coming out from under the door......I'm sure you get the picture. I mean these moments are precious and it's what makes motherhood amazing, so I'm NOT complaining. It's just a different world!

So~Savor your quiet time now, save for diapers and formula, and when the time is right, it will be the best thing that's ever happened to you. Hoped this helped to bring light to the mood. :)

Anonymous said...

Savor your time. Every time I feel that empty feeling, I flip through my photo albums and scrapbooks. I look at siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews, and my aunts and uncles. All I need is that short pick me up to remind me why the hubs and I are non-breeders! :-)


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