Saturday, September 24, 2016
Friday, September 23, 2016
This is a weird question "How are You"...... I am ok. Just ok.
* Physically? I am feeling like myself.... about 2 weeks ago I noticed that the hormones and drugs must be out of my system because the dizziness has left and I feel like my old self again (Hello, welcome back migraines) This might be TMI but I just had my period again since this and that is good, my body is getting back to the normal cycle of things.
* Have Matt and I discussed moving forward? Yes, we finally had a talk about all of this... Matt doesn't like talking about negative things but this is our life and I need it. We have made a decision, more like 1/2 a decision. We eliminated an option but now is not the time to share that because it is still raw within us. No, we are not doing anything currently to move forward right now but eliminating one direction is helpful.
* "How am I doing"? I am doing ok, I have thrown myself into planning this fun vacation next week and looking forward to meeting my friend Nicole in LA the following weekend for a girls getaway. It's nice having somethings to look forward to!! Here is what is so hard......
We went from our soul focus for over 2 years was trying to have a baby to this... nothingness.
We went from 1 SOLID year of infertility treatments, shots, doctor appts to this....nothingness.
During the past year each disappointment is pushed aside because literally days later you are starting another round or procedure and you need your focus to be positive.... SO now it seems like all of this is slowly creeping up on me. And it is doing so thru my old pal... ANXIETY. Somedays I am good but somedays it is so out of control I can't take it. At night I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and my old pal the elephant is back to sitting on my chest. I literally cannot sleep right now without taking an over the counter sleep aid. The anxiety is unreal and it has been over 2 years since I have been on anything to control it, I had to get off everything to try to have a baby and now I am reluctant to start up taking things again. I don't want to but I might have to. Anxiety is my bodies way of holding onto things and I can't do anything about it. I am drowning a little in the "what should I do" phase but I dunno, thats the answer... I don't know what to do about it.
Second I am still dealing with anger, anger towards "certain situations" that have arisen from this past year. You can forgive and try to move on but it changes things, permanently. I hate being so vague with you all because I am never like this but I have to be. My anger over issues I am afraid will result in me not being the same again towards certain things. Or people if you must know. It's sad, because I am not that way but I just can't .... I just can't let is slide I guess would be a good phrase. ugh. moving on...........
Here is the jest of what I told Matt, this is 100% a death, this is the biggest life moment we have had together. We must both now find a way to mourn the life that could have been. Move on and Mourn the fact that we will NEVER have a biological child, and it is a death of "what could have been". And it has to be processed but there isn't a handbook per say on how to do this. We have to struggle in this and hopefully move on.
SO I guess that is how I am doing inside. Outside, I am ok. My favorite word, Ok. I am ok.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
My friend Susan is about to head out in the coming weeks for a Girls Getaway to Chicago, they are going to see the sights and have a couple of FAB dinners planned! Susan came to me to style her for the weekend and it was SO much fun!
Susan said she didn't want any pieces to be too high of a price point, she loves the Poncho trend, Boots and chic looks for dinner! I gave Susan 3 Dinner Looks, 3 Boards of Sight Seeing looks and 1 Bonus board for either! All of these looks easily transition into pieces for Fall and Winter at home!
Chic Dinner Looks:
1. I LOVE this dress/top and yes, it's a top that looks like a dress but a top non the less! But this top paired with skinny jeans is SO on trend! I have been lusting over the top for some time now! I gave Susan 2 boot options depending on what she was feeling, either will be perfect!
2. This dress is amazing and I did use it to style another friend but I can't tell you how great it is! I am giving you 3 options to wear over, YES... I swear it the Camo jacket goes perfectly! Trust me! Then I have picked out 2 longer cardigan/duster options to pair on top of the dress also! Wear whichever of these at all times with the dress, not as a take off jacket! It's the look!
3. These Fall colors are going to look so stunning on Susan and this dress just scream HER to me! The back is low on this so the bralette is perfect because it will be seen and I have it in this mustard and it's the hot color right now!
* Seeing The Chicago Sights in comfy yet chic looks!!!
1. This camo jacket goes with everything and it is super light weight! You know I LOVE a graphic tee and that Chicago one.... I mean when I Rome right?
2. This board gives Susan several options and all options go with either shoe depending on how dressy you want to look! The short sleeve sweater will be so cute over the stripe shirt and I LOVE a good plaid shirt! And YES, bonus look... that sweater will go over the plaid also!
3. Here is a super chic poncho look perfect to be dressed down with the converse or dressed up with the boots!
Lastly, I saw this shirt (ON sale at Anthro) and thought it looked like Susan! SO I created another option for her weekend getaway!
Like always just click on the little picture under each board to be taken directly to the page to order the piece! I did use a ton of pieces from Evereve this time and I can't pull from their site so here it is for you Susan to click and buy.........
The Bralette (On sale) HERE
Vote for Naps Tee (on sale) HERE
Swing Dress (On sale) HERE
Free People Plaid HERE
Chicago Tee HERE
Leopard Dress HERE
Camo Bomber Jacket HERE
Maroon Dress HERE