Saturday, April 28, 2018

37, EEK

 You guys how in the world am I 37 today??????? I am no longer "Early 30s" or "Mid 30s" but "LATE 30s"?! OK, no this is not going to be a post about how much I am loathing this Birthday but a look back at some of my 37 years......
I know, I was born with bags under my eyes and a pony tail... much like how I look today! LOL
I was born 2 weeks late because I was sitting Indian style breach in my Mom not wanting to go anywhere. I was content I guess! LOL
 I love this picture because this face sums me up.... I mean who knows what I am thinking but if this isn't a Sh** eating grin then I don't know what is. Plus I'm adorable! LOL
 Oh Junior High, you were not good to me but you make for a fun look back today that is for sure! I have always loved a side pony, I can't tell you how many pictures I have found with this exact same hair do!
 My last 2 years of High School I really wanted to change things up and I chopped my hair and bleached it because well.... the 90s. I do miss this tan though.
I don't think I have shared this one before but I was maybe 23-24 here and this was one of my Professional Dance head shots!
And I did skip a few years in there clearly and several different hair styles but here I am today. I might still feel like a 27 year old but I am officially a grown up.
Today I am off to Goat Yoga this morning with my girlfriends followed my brunch and yes you heard me right... Goat yoga!!! Then tonight dinner with Matt and friends!
Cheers to 37!

Thursday, April 26, 2018

We are 1 in 8

This week is National infertility week and Matt and I are 1 in 8. I look back at our journey over the years and the raw posts I did on here and one good thing that came out of all of this is the awareness I raised. I will also remember the friends who reached out and said I did that too but I can't talk about it thanks for your honesty, the people who reached out and said I never knew and all of that makes me proud. The majority of our journey is linked HERE
So take some time if you do not know our journey or want to recap because it is all too much for me to rewrite on this post!
 For those of you wondering, YES I do still have all my "Participation Trophies" They are under my sink and when I come across them I don't feel loss I feel proud. Look what I did, look at what I was willing to do. I made it thru that. WE made it thru. Infertility is very hard on a marriage. I have said this before and I stand by it, we were at our closest during all of this... yes a lot because Matt had to come home to give me shots, we had to make decisions together and mostly because we were working towards this common goal. And after going thru all of this we are still trying to find a new balance to US, still trying to find a new common goal and navigating the ways each of us processes this different.
 To learn more about Infertility and to educate yourself you can click HERE
It is so hard to believe that this picture was taken exactly 2 years ago this month. Where has the time gone? What have I don't since, LOL?
I have talked a lot over the years about what to say and what not to say and we still hear it all. I do not mind at all when people have questions or even ask "What have you decided to do now"? That is all normal. But some people say .....
Why haven't you adopted yet?
Don't you still want a family?
Do you wish you had done a IVF #3?
And it goes on and on. I have said this since day one.... Matt and I are NOT opposed to adoption and never have been and we still can. But currently navigating life and figuring out if this is something we still want is complex. And adoption isn't free. 
I will say I am as nice as could be when people say "Maybe now that you are relaxed it will happen"... I smile and say you never know. BUT like this picture below "Just relax" is never well received by anyone going thru infertility.... trust me. 

Reach out to your friends who are dealing with Infertility.... be kind and patient because everyone's journey is different.

The Bachelorette (spoilers)

IF you don't want to hear about the new season of the Bachelorette and her final 4 hometown dates then skip this post!! I'm a fan of the Bachelor and Bachelorette but some seasons I don't watch and I could NEVER sit thru an episode without being able to fast forward! For real. I have been a long time fan of Reality Steve who spoils each season and on Insta I follow a few site like that... .which brings me to how I am going to be on the Bachelorette! 
 One of her final 4 guys this year Blake is from Bailey, CO which is about an hour north of me and I saw online that you could "sign up" to be in the crowd of the date. I signed up and the night before I got the RSVP back saying I got picked to go! I took my friend Jac who is also a fan and we made a day of it! It was weird there were requirements on what you can wear and we did sign a NDA thing but they allowed us to have our phones and take pictures. I think they know this only ups the excitement of the season
 We arrived at Blake's High School at Noon and literally sat in a room with no internet until 5pm with nothing to do but stare at a wall. But we kept thinking.... any minute now.... because no one tells you anything AT ALL. Then at 5 we were ushered into the auditorium, given rules and guidelines and they started shooting "audience reaction" so we pretended Becca was there and we danced to Betty Who
Betty Who? I know.... I had no clue but after hearing the same 3 songs for an hour she wore off on me and Becca is actually a HUGE fan. She freaked out when she saw this surprise!
 A HUGE surprise for us was that we were sat right by the couple.... there is NO way we will not make it on the show because they walked right by us and the camera was on us the whole time. All I can think is "Dear God, please don't let me look like an idiot"
Blake's family was there, his best friends who we got to talk to and Becca and Blake generally seemed to like each other. It was more real than I thought it would be!
 Overall the day was fun and we didn't head home until 7pm when the couple was headed to his parents house for dinner! And of course once the season airs I will be rooting for him of course. He was super cute. Seemed kinda goofy too!
This was a once in a lifetime thing to check off the old bucket list... be on ABC! LOL!! We shall see come this summer!

Wednesday, April 18, 2018


Morning everyone, welcome to this outlet of mine where I overshare. Today is like Day 5 of a horrible migraine and when I get into a bad cycle like this it is very easy for me fall down the rabbit hole. And today is one of those days, I woke up feeling sorry for myself, I have no motivation for anything, I feel yucky and mind is in a bad place. Don't you ever get those days where you hate everything AND yourself? No? Just me? LOL
It's so easy on a day like today to then let my mind run off..... like today I am thinking, I am turning 37 next week. That is no longer middle 30s but LATE 30s. Then I think what have I done with my life, what is my purpose and that is a bad place to be my friends. Nothing good comes out of those questions. But it's true. I have never had a problem with my Birthday ever or my age but this year for some reason is different. 37 doesn't look like what I thought it would be but then again does it ever? I have always been a person searching for that meaning and purpose and those answers have led me to volunteering which I don't do enough of but also it leads me to small things. Such as projects around the house that makes things better for Matt and I, doing that gives me purpose if only for that day. Today I thought about starting some real deep Spring cleaning but I am don't even have the drive to do that. And that just isn't like me. Matt said, go to a movie... get your mind right and you know it's a crap day when I don't even want to go to a movie.
Lucky me I have had a dinner planned with 2 girlfriends tonight for a week and I need it. I just hope I have bounce back from this migraine and feel good enough to go. Spring is the WORST for me.... the change in pressure, storms coming and going, snow one day warm the other..... it is all KILLER for my head.
I think I can also get melancholy after family leaves, I forgot how nice it is to have someone to talk to. Like just at home, not even important talk just things that come into my mind. The dogs won't talk back as much as I think I know what they are saying! LOL. Matt is so busy either at work, golfing or when he is home he is playing games on his phone nonstop so sometimes I can go what seems like days without having any meaningful conversation with him. And even though I am super independent and I need my alone time to decompress that can get hard and lonely. I think that is why like tonight when I see my girlfriends I talk too much. It's embarrassing

Anyways .... enough of my complaining today. Just getting to type this out is very helpful, thanks for listening friends! Tomorrow will be a better day.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

When my Mom comes to visit it's like a mini staycation for me because we do fun things around Denver that I have been wanting to do and play tourist! This year when Mom was picking her Spring dates to come I told her to come over the Spring Flea Weekend, this awesome Craft/Curated Goods/Local items show that happens twice a year! And it did not disappoint PLUS there was a photo booth.....
 My sister follows this one blogger/maker of goods on Insta so she sent up to her booth to get some fun stuff for her and she was the nicest! This was a HELLO Marissa photo we took!
 Mom and I got some fun stuff and took cards of a lot of the booth merchants to save for later since they have online stores! The only thing is it could have been warmer, this was in a abandoned warehouse and it was cold inside and out! Don't let that sun fool you! After we went to the new Shake Shack here in Denver to see what the fuss is all about! I got their fried portobello mushroom burger and I really liked it!
 Mom and I also went to the Denver Science Museum to see the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit which was amazing. We couldn't take any pictures but just imagining how these pieces of scrolls and the handwriting was written so long ago blows my mind. We saw some with the passages of Psalm written on them and that really puts it into perspective. But the museum was INSANE we literally had to park a mile away and it was SO hard to focus on the scrolls with a MILLION people everywhere! BOO
And man o man do the boys LOVE their Omi. Elway could not get enough love and it just warms my heart! I love this picture it encompasses the love between Mom and both of my Moms even though Ralph isn't in the picture!
We also saw The Quite Place on Saturday which we all loved! I just wanted MORE of it! What happens next?

Monday, April 16, 2018

4 Months In

Hey Guys! Happy Spring, can you believe we are 4 1/2 months into 2018 already? I swear yesterday was January. My Mom was here last week and we had a great time and now I am getting back into the swing of things here. This morning I realized I am doing a bad job at blogging so I am going to try and be better and I wanted to update you all on my word of the year Wellness and how that is going for me. You can read the original post HERE
There are a lot of moving parts with everything I am doing and that takes awhile to get it all in-sync.
Overall? Overall I think things are heading in a good direction. I am still getting 4-5 migraines a week but they are only coming at night (mostly) which means I am waking up feeling pretty good and able to have productive days and that is a start and a win for me. I think all my steps are working together and making that happen, making me feeing better. Here is everything I have done and am doing so far.....

* I got off Effexor which I started in December for Anxiety and migraines only to realize it was making so SO sick and giving me more migraines. It took me 6 weeks to get that out of my system and I felt instantly better. YAY ME! Now with that being said I will still try anything once, what if that could of been what made my migraines better? SO I don't regret it. You never know until you try. 

* I have had a COMPLETE blood panel on myself done, literally everything this took 2 draws and 10 vials total (yikes). And my Vitamin D is a little low, I have doubled my dose of that each morning and I am not in the sun much right because because well.. snow. ALL of my blood work is in normal range. It is so funny how migraines can make me so sick but I am very healthy over all, Cholesterol..... you name it I'm ok! The only thing that is weird I have always had which is very low blood pressure. Last week it was 89/64, I just have to keep hydrated and be careful in yoga to avoid being light headed.

* I had the BRCA Gene mutation test to see if I am a carrier for breast cancer and I am happy to say that I tested negative. That doesn't mean I wouldn't ever get it but I am not predisposed for Breast cancer. You can learn more about this HERE and if it something you should consider getting tested for.

* I found a new OB/GYN I have only had a infertility doctor here in Colorado so it was time. Everything is good but we will need to keep an eye on my reproductive health slightly more than some due to how long I was doing infertility and all the hormones I injected into my body over 2 years. Also TMI alert... I never had bad periods until after infertility and now my cramps are so bad sometimes I am doubled over in pain and the flow is horrible. Sadly my new doc said this is common and normal for my age and what I have been thru. YIKES>

* I have a new Neurologist he has some different ideas on ways to tackle my migraines and he wants do 4 rounds of botox for migraines which my insurance will cover AFTER I meet my deductible... so to move forward this first time would cost $1500. And it is different than cosmetic botox, a different "grade" and all that so it is more. SO that blows. I want to try this again but right now that price isn't in the cards. He also gave me some new rescue meds to try out that are not a triptan.

* Since the second week of January I have been doing yoga 2-3 times a week and I really enjoy it. And I am very proud of myself. I do think it helps with just my overall wellness! I love that I seem to have found something that is good for me, making me strong and that I enjoy and thats hard! HA

* I have been Vegan for 6 weeks and during those 6 weeks I have been able to do 95% vegan, last week with my Mom I "splurged" a little and I wouldn't even call it that. Next week for my Birthday I am wanting to have Sushi and so that will be a splurge! Overall I can't say if it is helping me a ton but I think that it is working well along with everything else I have been doing and I really do feel good, light and have more energy it seems! So I am going to keep it up!

I know that was a lot and it seems like a lot in general but I told you all how sick I was at the beginning of the year and I have to I mean have to find a way to get my migraines under control, I can't live like this. Why do you think I don't have a full time job now that the job of getting pregnant is over? Every job I have had I have had bosses hate me for missing so much work, I was sicker and I can't sit at a desk at a computer all day. People do not understand how much migraines take out of your life. SO I am trying my best to get new clients to buy or sell their home and I take my job as caretaker of the house and Matt serious. I am constantly doing projects to make our lives easier to "Earn my keep" Heck last week I spent 2 days cleaning the entire garage, organizing tools, Matt's golf stuff and what not. It makes me feel productive so for all of you who think I sit around all day doing nothing, just ask Matt. He is happy with the way things are!

How are your 2018 goals going???????


Thursday, April 5, 2018

1 Month Anniversary

I can't believe first of all that another month has come and gone and second that Saturday is our 1 month anniversary of being Vegan. I am proud to say that during this month I ate 98% vegan only had a few slip ups which were small. Now am I feeling the best ever, I'm not sure about that but I do feel good. My energy level is high, my digestion is good and my migraines are a smidge better than normal I would go out on a limb to say. 
Verdict- I am going to continue, another month goal of eating Vegan 90% and this coming month I will need that 10%.... my Mom arrives next week. And yes, I am cooking Vegan for her each night but we are going to splurge and get burgers one day and my lunches most likely will not all vegan!

Now, to celebrate the one month anniversary I have another GREAT recipe to share with you! I LOVED this. I made Lentil Sloppy joes on Sunday and then they also made the BEST leftovers!!! I will say cook your lentils all the way until soft. That took mine 45minutes. If they are too hard, they will be dry and this recipe won't be as good!
 I got this recipe from this blog HERE


  • 1 cup dried lentils rinsed well
  • 4 cups water
  • 1/2 medium green pepper diced
  • ½ small yellow onion diced
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 15 oz can tomato sauce
  • 2 tbsp tomato paste
  • ½ tbsp mustard
  • 2 tsp chili powder
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp cumin
  • salt & pepper to taste
  • Hamburger buns
  • Optional for serving: onions pickles, sliced cheese


  1. Place your lentils and water in a small sauce pan over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil.
  2. Once the water is boiling reduce the heat to medium and let them cook for about 20 minutes or until tender. Drain liquid and set aside.
  3. While your lentils are cooking in a wide pan heat olive oil over medium heat. Sautee onion and bell pepper for about 5-8 minutes or until soft and onion is translucent.
  4. Add in tomato sauce, tomato paste, mustard, and spices. Mix until combined. Reduce heat to about medium-low.
  5. Add cooked lentils to sauce mixture and let cook for another 5-10 minutes or until sauce is thickened and flavorful. Add in any more flavorings you might need.
  6. Serve piled on a hamburger bun
If you follow me on Insta then you see these great micro greens on top of most of any dinners and I am OBSESSED! They are Sunflower Greens and they actually have a spicy bite to them, I got them at my regular grocery store and they were prefect on top of the sloppy joes as well!!!
Enjoy guys!


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